Wherever you are tonight
I hope you know someone loves you even on your worst day
Someone loves you and doesn't want anything from you
I just want you to know you are loved and I hope you feel it deeply
You’re like a book: you have so many pages to discover, chapters that make up the person you are. I have my favourite pages, where I like to return to with you; reading both quietly and aloud. like a book, you move me and make me discover new facets of myself I didn’t quite know I had until I traced my hands along your cover. I can relate to you as I can to a protagonist, even if our backstories differ.
I wanna read and reread every word, discover their true meaning. I want you to be the book that will shape me in a way no other can. I want to like you in your entirety, not sugarcoating your rough chapters but enjoying every part of them nonetheless. I want you to become my favourite book, the one I can go back to time and time again and forever cherish.
I want to help you write your sequel, holding a pen in my left and your hand in my right.
All I hope, is that our story will be a classic, that can stand the test of time and that I‘ll never have to give up your story.
I want to re meet you. in a different setting, time, place and year and maybe we would have been right for each other.
Our time wasn’t right, the way we met wasnt right but just maybe we can meet in another lifetime and get our chance.
In all of these years, there were bound to be some coincidences. But that’s all they are. Coincidences.
I used to tell myself that I would force myself to get over it in the new year but that has never actually worked, no matter what steps I took to make it so.
I have many resolutions for 2020. Of them, my biggest resolutions are as follows:
To hesitate before speaking and acting. To not just say and do what I think and feel and want in that moment and try, instead, to just respond and react.
And to see things for what they are, not for what they could be or might be or may become. To look at the overall picture and see it for what it is. To not look for anything beyond what is there and real, in front of my face.
posting this to keep on record: had my first kiss last night. and it wasn't with the one I've written hundreds of sad letters about. this one, he appeared from thin air. he treats me better than the subject of 90% of my writings.
moral of the story: don't plan your future and expect it to go exactly your way. that person, the one that will make you forget every ounce of hurt you've ever felt, will come along when the time is right. don't fret about what was or what's waiting for you.
To my husband,
One of my all time favorite things about you is something I’ll never tell you about out of fear that you’d stop doing it.
When we’re cuddling before going to sleep and you fall asleep before I do you hold me tighter. You pull me close to your chest and refuse to let go. I fall asleep wrapped in your arms every night and sometimes that’s the only thing that gets me through the day. Knowing that even when you’re asleep you never want to let me go.
please never stop doing this
I’ve been feeling nice lately. Like. Good about myself, that is. I’m at a good place in my relationship with myself- I like my hair, my face. I like me.
Not everyone will think I’m beautiful. That’s okay- they don’t have to. I do. And the people that really love me will love me for more than what’s on the outside.
I'm starting to believe that you are very insecure and self deprecating about you possibly being somone that anyone could possibly love...
When the opposite is truth, you are so spectacular and sincere and wonderful that I spend all my waking and subconscious hours trying to figure out how to lower the shields around your heart and let you feel how much I care.
So let’s just say you have this best friend whom you share everything with. A best friend who is incredibly beautiful. Kind. Sweet. Caring. Giving.
Then something happens. You realize you don’t just love your best friend, but that some where along the line you fell in love with your best friend. Deeply in love.
To tell or not to tell, that is the question.
On one hand, I feel like am going to burst here. On the other, I couldn’t handle her getting weirded out and distant.
To tell or not to tell, that is the question.
There is something so distinct in meeting the other half to your soul, you could never possibly overlook it. The synchronicities are all around. That butterfly by no chance. That bird, that cloud, that dream, those numbers.. why do you think they stand out how they do? They are our guides, leading us back to our heart center, to our soul. Listen and follow them home.