Being a trans woman in this world sucks.

I'm trying to be brave. I'm being honest with those I have feelings for. I've confessed my feelings to five people in the past 3 months.

No one feels the same.

And I know that doesn't necessarily mean anything, but no one has ever felt the same. I've been alone in this way forever.

It just reminds me of how few people want girls like me in the world. In a world where love wills each other to keep living, it's so obvious that we're wanted dead.

Seven trans women have been killed in the past three months.

I can't help but feel like something terrible is going to happen to me. And I can't decide what's more frightening - The fact that I may be terribly hurt, or the fact that nobody might care.

I haven't heard from her in over a month. So on kik, I put my profile picture as something that says "Remember that I love you" and she put hers as "I will"....now I'm crying. Thank you, God. You've listened to my prayers.

You are beautiful, in ways that no one else seems to see. And maybe you are not beautiful to everyone, but you are beautiful to that select few: that few that like to look into your eyes and that find comfort in the tones of your voice. You are beautiful to those that find mystery in your mind, in your habits, in the laughter that spills out between your lips unexpectedly. You are beautiful in the way you glance at people and the way you stare. In the way your heart ticks, your breath frosts the air on a cold morning, the way you lather your body with soap in the shower. You are beautiful, you are beautiful, you are beautiful.


Please don't forget it.

I have been on this site since my freshman year of high school, five guys later, 3 love stories later, many unkept friendships, and I am here to say I have found him. The man I will marry. The last letters I will write, and the only man I will talk about for the rest of my life. Thank you to all of you who've been here this whole time... I couldn't have made it here without the contributors and creators. I love you all.

Annette

Hey..don't give up now. Chances are your best kiss, your hardest laugh, your greatest days are still..yet to come


maybe someday

3 years ago today one of my best friends killed himself.

He was 14. I was 15.

I'm now 18. I'm leaving home this year. I met someone wonderful, finally. I'm working really hard. Life is moving on.

I feel strange when I think about him now. It reminds me of school uniforms and bus rides, early mornings and sunset skies, assemblies and adventures and desperate late night phone calls. It feels so faraway. I'm 18, and he's still 14, I guess.

This isn't a love letter as such. It is a letter to you, Leo, wherever you are, from a much older me. I miss you. Think of me from time to time, will you?

I found this website back when I was in high school; the last two years of which I spent crushing hopelessly on a guy.

I wrote about it on here. I wrote about going on a date with a guy to a terrible movie.

Then, a year or so later, we actually started dating. I wrote about it on here again. It was a success story. The awkward girl had finally landed the boy she'd liked for years.

It lasted about two years. We broke up. It hurt more than I could have ever imagined. He did it over text. My success story had been shattered, my cute love story had come to a screeching halt, in the most anticlimactic way.

But the one doesn't hurt you like he hurt me. He doesn't lead you on before he ever dates you. He doesn't go behind your back and talk to other girls while you are dating. He definitely doesn't end it with you over text.

It took a year before I dated again. I'm now a year into a relationship with a guy I actually trust; a feeling I had never had with my ex. We have similar interests, we want similar things out of life, and most importantly, we care about each other.

Your crush or your boyfriend may not end up being who you want them to be, but it's okay. Your love story is still out there.

And while my ex hurt me, I wouldn't take it back. I grew as a person, I matured, and I learned through my heart ache that I am resilient. It has made me a more empathetic person.

Giving your heart away holds a certain amount of risk, but it's worth it regardless.


BlessYourLiver


I really like it when I have a burst of clarity and realize that I'm over a crush...like... glad that nonsense is over. Back to your regularly scheduled nonsense.

I have always, and I mean ALWAYS, been the type of person who hides behind my hair. The only time I've worn it up since middle school has been alone in my apartment where I knew no one would see me. And not just that, but I have ALWAYS felt the need to curl or straighten it in order to distract from my own personal insecurities. You do what you can type of thing, you know?

Well last night my best friend's grandfather died, and I was up until way past morning light taking care of her and making sure she was alright. After only two hours of sleep, I got up and decided 'screw it', then threw my hair into a ponytail.

I dreaded walking through the doors of work, knowing that everyone would have some sort of reaction or comment to make. I bit my lip the entire drive in panicking about it.

When I first rounded the corner past his desk he stated "Holy shit.." and I kind of gave him an insecure smile. He put down what he was working on, stood up, and walked over to me. "Holy shit.." he repeated.

I was about to walk away, totally embarrassed at how much of a mess I looked, until he said "Everyone knew you were cute, but I never realized you were this cute!" He chuckled, then cocked his head to the side. "You should wear your hair back more!"

And I've honestly never felt so on top of the world.