You're wearing that smile again.

The one that makes you look like the happiest person in the world, when actually you're not. You're breaking down inside.

Talk to me. We'll solve this together.

I was sitting in car in the parking lot of the grocery store because I hadn't bothered to change out of my pajamas. I was looking at my phone to pass the time; my hair was a mess, and there was chocolate in my teeth. A scab had formed on my chin from an unfortunate curling iron burn from a few days before.

As I was reading a text message, a random boy knocked on my window. He was wearing a uniform from the grocery store, so I rolled down the window to see what he wanted. He spoke in words that I could barely register: "I know this is weird to say in a parking lot like this, but I wanted to tell you that you are gorgeous." I think I managed to say thank you and smile a chocolaty smile, but I was taken by surprise.

To the boy who made my day, I wish you all the happiness in life, and I hope we meet again.

I feel like such a rebel whenever we climb over the fence to skip rocks by the reservoir's shore. I imagine myself a noble maiden fair with her long-suffering, yet forever loyal knight when I ask for yet another piggyback ride on the way back. I am a warrior queen who grows in power with each and every victory in our thumb wrestling matches.

I am transgender. 

You saw past that when I told you. 

"Never would've guessed in a million years, you look perfectly normal", you kindly assured me. 

"Just normal?", I teased. 

We laughed, then hugged, and moved on to talk about bioengineering microbes.

I have such a wonderful person like you as my friend and in my life, that I feel selfish for asking for more. But everytime I get a text from you I swear my heart skips a beat. I look at the pictures of us together to motivate me to tackle that physics problem set. My heart just melts when I see you smile or hear you laugh. I actually wonder if you just pretend not to notice when I lean my head against your shoulder everytime you agree to carry me on your back.

I've been rejected every single time before due to being a trans girl. I fear confessing to you, as it could tear our friendship apart like it had in the past with the others.

I fear simply to forever be an artificial flower waiting to be picked up and smelled, but cast aside time and time again.

I dream always of castles in the clouds, and ships sailing through the stars, just give me a chance to fly.

*Non crush says something nice*

Aww that was nice of them, what a good friend

*Crush says the same thing*



and one day i looked at you a little too long

If you were to ever stumble across LTC and read a letter with only your name on it, I wonder who you would assume it came from. Better yet, wish it came from.

"Some people are meant to fall in love with each other, but not meant to be together."

I never understood this quote until very recently. It is the most bittersweet and beautiful thing I know. It's okay to be in love with your best friend and leave it at that. Some things just don't work out, and that's okay.

I just have this feeling that you're super cuddly and I mean we really ought to test this for science

I wonder how many people are on this website writing letters to each other and neither one of them have a clue.

i had forgotten what it felt like to have a crush. how you feel all tingly and energized and how it's impossible to sleep when thinking about that person is so much more interesting. how your cheeks turn all rosy despite being all alone in a dark room, how you feel almost drunk simply thinking about someone's smile. and now i'm in my bed, sleepless and tingly, rosy cheeked and tipsy on you, and i remember.