Have you ever heard someone say, "I fall in love with them over and over again?"

Whenever I used to hear that I immediately thought it was just a cliche.

How could someone continue to fall in love all over again?

Back then, I did not believe that love was limitless. I thought that everything came to an end.

But I realized love does not die.

Everyday for the past 2 years, I've fallen in love with him over and over again

I never knew I could care and love someone so much

Theres no one I could ever possibly love like I love him.

Every text I get from him no matter big or small makes me smile

Every moment I get to spend with him, no matter what we do together, makes me feel happy and I never want to leave

Everytime I kiss him I can't stop

Everytime he kisses me I feel tingly all over

Every hug makes me feel safe and secure

Everytime he holds my hand, I feel content

Everytime he makes me laugh I fall head over heels in love just like the day I first realized I loved him

Everything about him makes me smile

Theres not a second that goes by where I don't think about him

I fall in love with him everyday

And I'll fall in love for the rest of my life

 

I confessed to the boy who had been by best friend since elementary that I've love him for a while now and I felt like he should know. I didn't expect him to answer. It was a 2 am confession. But then he totally flipped out and told me he'd felt that way about me since the fifth grade.

i remember after you kissed me one time you were smiling so big and i asked why, and you said "cause i remember when i wanted to kiss you but i couldn't and now i can all the time!"

i pray that after so much time that this wasn't our last kiss.
please, please come back to me.

Paula, I loved you more than any force in the universe, you saw me as the guy who you nearly hooked up with at a frat party but I saw you as my reason for my breathing and the reason my breath was taken way. Why did you do it Paula, why did you kill yourself. You could have told me your problems would've been my problems. I miss you so much it hurts, I can't eat, nothing tastes good anymore not even the blueberry chip muffins that you like.

I've never longed for someone the way I long for you.

Never.

Five days a week, you intrigue me and you terrify me. You make me feel alive. Seven days a week, I think about you. I can't even help it. I try to stay busy, but it's still not easy.

I wish we could have met sooner, when we went to the same school and possibly sat next to each other at the library. Now you've been with your boyfriend for years and it's painful to see that you love him. I want you to be happy most of all, but I keep hoping that there's something he can't offer you, that there's something about him you're fed up with, or that you just need a change. At the same time, I know leaving him would result in
questions from family and friends. You grew up together. It probably feels impossible.

I don't remember the last time I met someone like you. You're the definition of exuberant. You're full of life, happy, and you have a great sense of humour. You can light up a room with your presence and still make every single person in it feel special. I know we joke around about it, but you're also incredibly kind. Talking to you is sometimes the high point of my day. I can't imagine finding someone who would compare to you in making me feel the way I do.

I know we have something and I can't forcibly convince you of how great it could be. All I can do is talk to you, get to know you more, do little things for you, and tell you jokes once in a while. I love the way you react to my flirtations. If it was up to me, I would never deny you that feeling.

There's a world out there you're not seeing. I'd like to take you to Cambodia or Morocco. I'd like to make an elaborate dinner and watch art films with you, I'd like to go to lectures and debates with you, I'd like to probe your mind and figure out your deepest thoughts, hopes, and fears. There's so much good we can bring out in one another.

You're comfortable. So am I. You're a smart woman, though, and I know you've got a sense that, for all the fun you've had, it's not enough. I want to challenge you and invigorate you. I want to give you an everlasting happiness.

Give it a chance.

R.P

I think the best crushes are the weird ones. 

Two years ago, all of my letters here were written to one guy. I had never spoken more than a dozen words to him, all of which were "hi".

I went to private school and got home early. Two afternoons a week I walked a friend's dog and one day I walked down a different street. The timing was just right that I passed the public school kids getting off the bus at their street. First off the bus was a big group of noisy, rowdy high schoolers, jostling into each other down the steps past the bus driver. They yelled hello to me. A few steps behind them was a quiet boy, with dark hair and dark eyes and a beautiful smile. He nodded and said hello.

After that, I walked the same route every day to see the quiet boy. And every time, he would get off the bus, we would greet each other, and go our separate ways. A few times I caught him looking back at me over his shoulder. This went on for months. I daydreamed about introducing myself, and the two of us walking down the sidewalk together, talking about our lives. I wrote letters, crafted poems, and walked twice a week, without fail. 

The next year, the same kids got off the bus, but he wasn't with them. I stalked him on Facebook and discovered he had gone off to college a few states away. I walked down his street every once and a while, glancing at his house as a passed, as if he were going to materialize in the window. But after a few months I moved on, to different streets and other people. 

Last month, I was out walking my dog past his street, and I stopped to talk to a woman with a white puppy. A car pulled up to the stop sign, and I glanced over. It was the same boy. He flashed his beautiful smile and we waved at each other, as if in silent recognition of our previous relationship, and he pulled away. 

Last week, I friended him on Facebook at the prompting of a friend. He messaged me right away. We talked on and off for a few days, about random stuff, from professions to sailing to planets. 

Today, we had our first date, and it was amazing. 


Imagine the place where you live is inundated by snow and ice. It doesn’t matter if there wouldn’t be snow there, of if you’ve never even seen snow before. Just imagine cold, white, grey everywhere. Imagine the light is soft, but everything else is heavy. All you can see and feel is a suffocating cold, and a white bleakness stretching across your world. You can go outside, but it’s with difficulty and there’s nothing to see, anyway. Imagine that everyone is completely preoccupied by surviving in their own colourless, freezing existences and they don’t really talk to you. When they do it’s about snow and ice with intense focus and dullness. You want there to be life beyond the snow. You remember when there was. You don’t think the snow should be everything. You want to talk about leaves or whirling dervishes, or a particular passage from a book you read in adolescence. You want to discuss the history of pop music from the 80s and 90s, or to run without stopping for 55 minutes, or to complain about the weird noises from next door. You want to be beyond this. But you are covered and stifled by paralysing snow.

 

Then suddenly you meet another person. In my example I’m using the male pronoun, but you can substitute whatever best fits your situation. This person isn’t white or grey. He isn’t obsessed with the snow. He doesn’t care about the cold. He breaks through all of that. He lives on the other side of the city, and you have to dig a tunnel through the snow from your bedroom window to his bedroom window. This tunnel goes from your heart to his heart. This is what love is, to me: a protected passage way through the smothering snow and the density of other people, to someone else who is just like you; who sees the world as you do, who feels as you do, and who loves as you do.

 

You change all the lead 
Sleeping in my head to gold
And as the day grows dim
I hear you sing a golden hymn

I THINK HE STILL LIKES ME

AND I'M SO HAPPY

SOMEONE COME CAPSLOCK WITH ME

COME BE HAPPY WITH ME