I'm glad that you're committed to your work, but sometimes I wish you would look around every now and then and notice that there are people who actually want to hang out with you and have fun.
Dear beautiful bottomless pit of love letters,
I would like to acknowledge the existence of my best friend in the world.
Her name is Catherine and she's made of sunshine. She writes letters to people she's never met and she loves the rain. She wears boy's shoes and dances in her basement. She is in love with the sound of cellos, and her eyes light up when she laughs.
So I hereby disprove that "just friends" is "just" anything. Love is not wanting to make out with someone. It is waking up every morning and thinking about their heartbeat.
I don't typically like the "hot guys" or popular guys, or the guys who have always got the girl. Everyday and every new person I meet I look for the best in them, the things you have to take the time to notice and slowly fall in love with. It's usually the guy that everybody likes and is friends with, maybe a couple seeing him as nothing more than a goofball and takes nothing seriously, that I eventually fall for. Or the really shy guy from math class, that never really talks but always smiles and listens. Or the guy in gym who obviously isn't sporty, so he'll joke around about how much he'd rather be sketching, but you'll catch him showing off whenever you're watching him. I look for the best in people and fall for those who you have to really pay attention to notice.
I've come to terms with the fact that I have no chance with you and that there is about a 0.00000001% chance you have feelings for me too.
But your smile and your laugh and your personality make it really hard for me to be okay with that.
i think that the best thing about liking you, is that i dont really regret it. its fun. you make me smile. you make me happy. we all need to be happy. and i think thats what we should all be looking for.
What you don't realize is that you are my night in shining armor. You are my prince. You are the guy of my dreams. Yes, that makes you a dreamy guy. It's not because you act like the guys in 80s movies or because you have characteristics from guys in Nicholas Sparks novels. Because you don't. You're even better. You love me and you care for me. You open the door for me when I ask and you hold my purse when I beg. Even if you don't want to, you do it because you love me. And that makes you my Prince Charming because you care for me and love me. So don't for a second say that you aren't the guy I think you are. Because guess what? I don't want to change you. I don't want you to become someone you're not. I know you think that you aren't that guy, but you have a good heart naturally and that's all I need. All I ever wanted was a guy who holds my hand and whispers they love me into my ear because they truly do. I don't need perfect, I don't need the storybook prince or Noah from The Notebook because none of them are you. And I just need you.
In the grand scheme of things, I have no idea what I want. I don't know where I want us to go or who I want to end up with or even who I want to be. I hardly know who I am right now, for God's sake. But I do know the little things I want. I know that I want to read things you've written and hold your hand and look you in the eye; I know that I want to tell you every single beautiful thing that I see in you and listen to you read to me and make you laugh; I know that I want to grin at you from across the room and see you grin back at me. I want to know all your favorite songs and movies and listen to them until I know them by heart, the same way I want to know you. I want to hear you play music and watch you draw and help you with your homework; I want to wear your pajamas when we go to your house, but more than anything, I want to love you. That's what I want.
The worst thing is loving the wrong person. The worst thing is when your heart falls down and and you can't pick it up again. I think everyone in the world should have to experience unrequited love at least once. Not a crush on someone where things don't work out. Not a relationship that goes sour. A full blown love for someone who doesn't love you back.
This type of love is so pure and so intense. It's almost as much about you as it is about the other person - perhaps more, in fact. It's an experiment in learning about your heart and your mind. It's agony, but it's best way to know yourself and the depths of love you are capable of. Only the imaginative soul can experience such all-encompassing love. Only the creative mind can form such attachment where there is little given in return. Only the strongest haert can suffer through unrequited love.
this is not to diminish other forms of love. They are powerful and true as well. But unrequited love is the most excruciatingly beautiful and painful, and anyone who goes through it comes out a better, more patient and empathic person, with a tried and tested ability to care for another person.
This is what I think in the best of times as I struggle through my unrequited love. At the worst of times, I wish to take my heart out and never shove it back into my aching body.
Your smile wins the takes-my-breath-away-and-makes-me-feel-like-I've-been-punched-in-the-stomach-ohmygodyou'resocute award.