I want a red dress. A dress that you would always ask me to wear for special events. "Why don't you put on that dress you look so nice in. The red one" you would say. It would be the dress I was going to wear for our first real date. For meeting your parents the first time. It would be the dress I would wear the night you would propose and the dress you would slowly take off of me when I said yes. Your friends would say "There they are. Over there. The man with the woman in the same red dress". 

There is no red dress. And there is no us. There's not even you. So I put on my black dress one more time, and go out in the night, finding admiration in every indifferent heart I pass.

can i just tell you guys about him?

like, oh my god. i love him so damn much. when i knew, when i really knew, it was overwhelming. it was like swimming in the kiddie pool and realizing i was in the 9 ft section all along. i drowned in the realization of how much i really love him.

i want to breathe but i honestly love him taking my breath away.

he's gorgeous. when he smiles, it fills his whole face. cheekbones: killer. he has full, sweet lips and honey eyes that have trapped me. i look into them and i'm suddenly a small bug, consumed by amber. random freckles spot his head, topped off with a cute mole on his lip. i look at him, though, and don't see any of his appealing features. i look at him and just melt. five seconds gazing at his face and my heart swells at the fact that i am so utterly blessed.

i am so lucky to have him. i don't know how i got so lucky. when anxiety starts to creep on me, he tells me to breathe, tells me i'm okay. rubs my hands, back in small circles. when i have bad days, he tells me to remember that he loves me, to keep my chin up.

he calls me his queen. he treats me like one. kissing my hand, my cheeks, nose, forehead, lips, neck. i've never felt happier than when i'm in his arms, breathing him in.

he tells me i'm beautiful. he knows that i'm smart. he respects my independence. he calls my mom "mama" and looks at me like i make the sun rise.

i want to marry him.

we were finding our pulses the other day for a project and you absently moved your leg against mine and started tracing circles on my hand with your thumb

my resting heart rate is definitely not 102 beats per minute

not cool man, not cool

Can you imagine ever breaking someones heart? 

To be able to cause that much pain in a person? To be able to make tears go rushing down their face and to make their heart ache for who knows how long?

I'd hate to break someones heart

Love isn't really passionate and romantic 24/7. Sometimes you feel like platonic best friends and you'll just chill out or do stupid shit together. Which is perfectly fine but it's a shame that most people don't realize that because they mistake it for falling out of love.

My boyfriend asked me to be his girlfriend by typing "BE MINE" into my graphing calculator.

And I fucking said yes.

That's the only happy story I have involving a calculator, but it's the best choice I ever made. My calculations are CORRECT 

and I love you, henry, always.

would you ride a dragon with me? riding off into the sunset like untamed Hooligan vikings yearning for an adventure.

would you fly to Neverland with me? to battle pirates in floating ships and where sprinkles of pixie dust are all you need to live.

would you be my Guardian of Fun? bringing winter's joy and nipping at my nose in the pleasant cold.

would you be the greatest wizard of all time? so I could be the bookworm and we would save the world.


I was FB messaging you, and I look down to find that I have typed "I love you very much" into the chat bar. I didn't even remember writing it. I carefully erased it..... 

Your hands were made to pick and strum and mine were made to paint and sketch. I pull color and you draw music from items that without the love of two hands, sit idle. 

But as we two were created , we too shall create. As I decorate space and you decorate time. 

Oh, lord in heaven above, what have I done? 

This wasn't supposed to happen. Now I wish he'd gone home earlier. All we were doing was talking. But, God he's so sweet and adorable and he kept making me smile. 

We went to the park and talked more and kind of cuddled and it was lovely. I was so content in that moment, with my head on his shoulder. 

"This feels good," he commented. I smiled again. 

I have no idea if he was over me or not, but now I might be falling. 

ah help.