Maybe that's why.

Maybe that's why it never worked out with boys I liked.

Maybe that's why boys never seem to take interest.

Maybe that's why I can't get comfortable enough.

Maybe, because, it was always supposed to be this beautiful girl.

I'm sure we all wonder why bad things happen to us. Why do we have to receive that phone call or text or see that facial expression that makes people ask "what's wrong, what happened?". It happens. But we must keep in mind some situations make us that much stronger. If you look back on all the hard times, the horrible days, heartbreaking memories, they may have been sad but look where you are today. because of those hardships you have become an even stronger person than you were before. All of this is just a reminder: you are loved, you are cared for, there is always someone who would be willing to pray with or for you. Who knows, maybe something good will come from all this. Acceptance is the hardest. It will take a lot of time and patience, I believe you'll get through it all. I most likely haven't known you your entire life, but I have known you long enough to see how amazing of a person you are and to know you is a complete honor. As humans, we learn to find strength in pain. We have friends/family to talk with, music to blast, blank pages to fill and express every feeling inside of you. We handle situations differently but we all seem to be there for one another when life gets tough and that's what makes us so wonderful, we can come together and help one another any and every chance we get.

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." -Khalil Gibran



You are one of the most remarkable persons i've ever met.
But i'm too scared to put myself out there and let you in. I'm not ready. And i think i never will be.
I'm sorry.

Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings in the world. It's astonishing how much rejection can hurt, and how easily betrayal can crush your dreams. It's unbelievably painful. Each day is a smothered, shattered, hopeless, teary, mess, and you'd almost rather have been stabbed in the gut. At least, it might not hurt so much. 

We've all felt heartbreak, and it's miserable.

But love is one of the best feelings in the world. It's amazing how easily your spirits can be lifted. Just a simple smile can send you soaring over the clouds, and the memory of a loved one's embrace puts you in a better mood than an entire pan of homemade brownies. You're not only full of hope, but you're overwhelmed by it. Your dreams, the ones you thought unnatainable, are not only reached, but surpassed!

And sometimes, it's worth the heartbreak.

Don't give up.

It was the wee hours of the morning, but I couldn't sleep.

Earlier in the day, I had sung her a song on my guitar. It was different than all the songs I usually sing to her, though.

This song had "I love you" hidden in it, and I was slightly disappointed when she didn't seem to pick up on it.

I was lying in bed hours later thinking about her as always, when a text lit up my phone screen with these words:

"Please don't say you love me, cos I might not say it back."

All at once bitter disappointment came crashing down around me and I let my phone drop down onto the floor.

It was the hardest night of my life and it never seemed to end.

But when finally I woke up the next morning and picked up my phone, there was a message on there that I hadn't seen.

"But that doesn't mean I won't sing it to you."

P.s. She did sing it to me
P.s.s. I am in the middle of writing her a proposal song

She is the most perfect human to ever walk this planet. Beautiful hazel eyes that really have never decided what colour they want to be, an infectious smile that makes me forget about anything other than her, 5'4" with such stunning presence I forget she is nine inches shorter than me until I hold her close to my chest, breath so sweet on my skin it takes my breath away, a bosom and butt any girl would kill for because they're gorgeous, her waist so tiny I can nearly touch my thumbs and middle fingers when I clutch her sides, a mind so creative and thoughtful I could talk to her for the rest of my life, long brown hair that shimmers golden in sunlight with pure copper strands, the taste of her skin and saliva more of a delicacy than anything imaginable, an artist of masterworks with watercolours, how my fingers fit to her curves when I clutch her sides, a mind so creative and thoughtful I could talk to her for the rest of my life, long brown hair that shimmers golden in sunlight with pure copper strands, the taste of her skin and saliva more of a delicacy than anything imaginable, an artist of masterworks with watercolour or pencil that stike the heart with vivid emotion, her freckles as a sea of stars sprinkled across her cheeks. If perfect were possible, she would be.


However she denies these things about herself. She doesn't believe she is perfect. She usually has an explanation as to how she is average at best when I remark her flawless nature. Her beauty too lies in her innocence, she doesn't have any idea what she is capable of or how amazing she is, to me or to anyone. I want her to be strong because I know she is despite what she thinks or what she thinks others think. Everything about her is immaculate, and while she may be 1,047 miles away, she is worth every second of waiting. She is my blossom, my flower, my sweet pea, my fallen angel, my princess.

Where she is- that is where home is.




he asked me out on a date.

a cute boy.

he asked me out.

on a date.

he asked me.

on a date






One night when I was feeling particularly brave I sent you a text telling you I missed you. It wasn't anything special, but I wish I could have seen your face when you read it.

Did you smile the whole way through your reply?

Did it make you happy and giddy inside? Did it keep your warm throughout the night and the next morning?

Or did you grimace? Did you refuse to say you missed me too because you don't really mean it? Did you make a joke to keep things light because you don't want it to get too serious?

Or do you have your guard up? Are you afraid of something? One failed engagement doesn't mean you're ruined you know?

And I'm pretty strong. My shoulders can handle the weight of all the serious business you have.
I promise.

I wish I could have seen your face.

The biggest problem?

When I met you, I thought I had met the last girl I would ever need to meet. The one I had been waiting for. The one that fate decided was supposed to be with me.

But I couldn't get to you. Couldn't make it happen.

Now you're gone. And I don't know how to move on when you were supposed to be the last girl I ever needed to meet.

I met this kid sophomore year of college at an event. Deciding to have a little fun with him, I flirted. I ended up teaching him how to make paper airplanes. 

Two years later, I'm stranded at an airport and who shows up out of the blue to pick me up?