I love how you can focus yourself on something. I'm really jealous of that ability, since now I can't seem to focus on anything for very long at all before you pop up in my head again.
It's not funny, it's not sweet.
You're not interested in me, you're just a very nice boy. That's just the way it seems to be.
But every time I remember some conversation, some little moment, or some quality (like that particular sort of not-quite-fidgety energy you move with), I grin like a goddamned idiot and it's just not fair.
Crushes are just so bittersweet, you know? And unexpected. Like flying gooseberry pies.
I should tell you how I feel. I need to think of a good way to do it. It's just that I'm pretty fragile right now and I don't think I could handle the really awkward and somehow tactful rejection I'd inevitably get.
there's someone at my school who opens doors for everyone and waves to people in the halls and tells them "have a wonderful day!" but why do i feel like i'm the only one who ever tells him "thank you and have a wonderful day too" back?
it saddens me that so few people appreciate exactly how nice someone can be, because this boy restores my faith in humanity every single day. he even offered a twenty dollar bill to me just because i told him i didn't have the money to spend to buy the books i really want to read. so this isn't a crush confession, but an appreciation post, because when i'm despairing over how shallow and cruel the world can be, i remember that this boy can light up my entire day because he's just so caring and understanding.
please, God, or whoever is out there, please let this boy always be happy. let him smile. because i don't know if i've ever known anyone who deserves to be happy more.
(he also has a british accent)
I would just like to declare that I have loved you through all your dumb, terrible, and really really awful haircuts.
I realized yesterday that I'm okay. For the first time in forever, I didn't regret, I didn't wish he were still with me, I didn't miss him. I found myself thinking, I'm kind of glad the break-up happened. I'm my own person now. It feels pretty damn awesome.
Really I just miss your stares. They used to stun me with red.You would look away so quickly! Don't worry, I would too. Know i'm waiting; always watching. I guess that's not enough.
Don't you find it wondeful how your eyes connect with your nose that connects with your mouth that clicks with orange when you say my name? You should do that more often. Because your voice stretches and pushes until it holds. Everything you say is honest.
Your laugh bounces and rings and wraps and cradles. It's so pink. Your atmosphere is so blinding and cloudy. Perfumed and wrapped like a pretty bow. Help I see too much.
You're so bright. You're so warm. Stop! That's for the sun. Don't go stealing that away. You and your fucking yellow. Darted across your tongue for all your words to dance for.
Your grin is so blue. Whether wipped on a backround or crystaling bright in the classroom lights. Do you know, sometimes our smiles match. And how much I pant when I think of your lips thinning before stretching back and back until showing your dimples. Like waves coming to shore and back. A tease, I swear.
My own canvas is exploded with purple and gray and orange and red. Have of it is white;like 2:00am stillness, or when snow falls, maybe when I pick up a medication at the pharmacy. I want your colors to sneak through and help some of the blank black spots. Just one more thing: can it stain?
you look at them and you think about how perfect they look and you could just stare at them for days on end and you have the urge to capture their attention but at the same time you don't want to embarrass yourself in front of them and you start feeling nervous and your head is all over the place because being with them makes you feel happy and worried at the same time.
Sometimes, there are exceptions.
I hate sweat and cheesy pick up lines and cheesy arguments over cheesy things and stubborn people, being stubborn. I hate trust and I hate the thought of forever. I hate love and communication through technology.
Then there's you. I dont mind holding your hand even if your palms are warm and sweaty. I dont mind your cheesy pick up lines and your whispered 'i love you' when we hug. I smile when we argue whether i love you more or not, because darling i already know the answer and you must be too stubborn to understand.
I've always been the girl with no true friend to trust but with you i know that if you crept into my mind, you'd help me dust away the imperfections and regrets and i know that you will stay. I know that i will love you forever and ever. I know that i will not stop. I do not care that we dont talk everyday face to face but through a screeni instead. I dont care. I know that you are reading the same words and smiling at the same things. I know that you are there.
There are exceptions.
And i like holding your sweaty hands.
Her eyes are the colour of roasted chestnuts.
They change from time to time,sometimes they are green sometimes they are brown, and if you catch them at the right time , they sparkle like gold melted.
She sings in music class , her voice different than others. She wont sing in front of people , even though her voice is perfect.
She carrys herself lightly .
She's the type of girl who fangirls , she screams about show's she likes and Benedict Cumberbatch and Ed Sheeran.
She's chatty , but awkward. It all depends , she's a contradiction.
But I love her.
I really do.
I want to talk to those who are currently in pain because someone you cared for, someone you trusted with every fiber of your being hurt you.
I'm glad you kept reading, because I wanted to tell you that I've been in your shoes. I have let my guard down. I have let someone in and I have been completely destroyed. My world was turned upside down.For a month I was depressed. I never felt like eating because I didn't want to open my mouth. It was too much effort to chew. I cried in the shower so no one would hear me. I cried when I woke up and you weren't there anymore. After a month I was angry, I hated him, I hated all men, I hated myself. Somewhere along the way I realized I was a different person from when I dated him. I had more knowledge, more power and more confidence. How? I started believing in myeself. I started loving me for me and it was showing. It got better for me, it will get better for you. You want to know how? You'll get tired of being tired and you will realize that you deserve the best of the best. You wont settle. You realize that if they even cared in the first place, your best would NEVER make you feel like how you feel now.
I still don't have my best, but I know I'm a lot closer to him then I was yesterday.
I think you felt the same way about me that I felt about you. Atleast that's the impression that I got from all the little things you did. Asking me why I don't like you. Always asking me to show you the where things were, when I'm sure you already knew. And that time we did Secret Santa, you lied about you who you had, lied about forgetting the gift on the day, and then privately giving me a shirt that looked identical to something you'd wear.
I spend way too much time thinking about you, even now...4 years later, and I hope you spend a little time thinking about me. If you did like me the way I think you did, I'm sorry you had to drop all those hints and I never finished the job. The entire experience changed me. I confessed to my closest friends that I liked guys, learnt to accept myself for who I am and to never let an opportunity slip by. If I ever feel that way again, I'm going for it.
It honestly sucks that I most likely will never see you again, but I hope that you're the hopeless romantic that I think you are, find your way to this message and know that's it's from me to you. If I somewho deo end up seeing you again, I won't hesitate to tell you that I had a crush on you. OK, I WILL hesitate, but eventually I'll get ut out.
PS: I still think about ripping tape off of your eye-brows. That was a fun day.