I don't need you.
And if I needed you, my affection would not mean quite so much because then I wouldn't be my choice. You would be something I just couldn't shake and that's hardly as much of a compliment as saying that you're my choice.
You're my choice. Every day I choose you over and over again. I see your smile, and your quirks, and the way you reach for my hand and I choose you again. I am constantly choosing you, constantly making the choice and constantly affirming that you are what I want. I want the you who tries to tickle me when he's happy and the you who will sometimes get so angry that he has to walk away.
I love you and that is my choice. And I will choose you over and over for exactly that reason. Because I am totally and completely in love with you.
I don't need you, but I want you. I love you. I choose you. And that makes all the difference.
Don't be with someone who is unsupportive of you when you decide to grow as a person. Do not be with anyone who becomes jealous of your best friend. Don't give your heart to someone who only knows how to take. Do not be with somebody who rejects your hopes and dreams or projects you are working on. Don't you dare be with somebody who feels your body is their right. Don't you dare stay with a person who disagrees when you decide to become a wiser, more mature person. Don't you dare be with someone who mocks you over the things you are proud of or only says your full name when you argue.
Don't you fucking dare. Just don't. You out there, reading this, I love you too much to let you suffer at the hands of someone like that. If you're with someone like that now, leave them. Leave them within the hour of reading this. Want to know why?
Your body is yours. Your mind is yours. Your heart is yours to give and yours to keep, and nobody can dictate you. You are perfect. You are infinite. You are not a wisp of flesh that somebody can set on a shelf and use when they see fit. You are beautiful. Your eyes sparkle like starlight. Every fibre of you is crafted from love, from passion, and so is your soul. You were born to love with full acceptance and be loved in turn, not to hurt and be hurt.
Because you're good enough. You're strong enough.
You don't need them, you don't need a person who thinks you need them to be okay, as you never have and never will.
With all the warmth and adoration to fill every hole in your heart,
In t minus one hour I will be on my first date with the boy I've liked for t minus 6 months.
I truly believe that a person's favorite song describes in some way what's going on in their life at the moment.
No matter if it's a love song, sad song, goofy song, or a bubblegum pop song; it defines you.
That's why we change our favorite songs so much; they change as fast as our lives do.
Has anyone ever felt like you screw it up with every guy you like?
You get so close to dating and then bam. Somehow you screw it up.
I was under the impression that I was always the one messing things up, being too clingy, not pretty enough, not funny enough, texting them too much.
But I'm tired of that nonsense.
It's not you. It's them.
You need someone in your life who can handle your 10 texts in a row when you read their message and don't reply. Someone who will still tell you you're beautiful when you send them a selfie with no make up on.
Someone who will laugh at your lame joke and won't tell you it was stupid.
You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally regardless of how attached, emotional, and love struck you are.
We all do. And I really hope there's someone out there for each of us to prove it.
I punch trees.
It's not that I don't like trees. I've got nothing against trees. I just like punching hard stuff. A thick tree is the best way to go. It makes your knuckles bleed when they hit the bark. You can feel the bones in your fingers shake.
Sometimes I need to forget about things. So I punch trees.
I listen to music while I do it. My friends say that I play my music too loudly. I've played it at full blast since a couple days after you left me.
Sometimes I need to forget about things. So I listen to loud music.
One time, I tried to imagine that the tree was your face. I didn't like that. I'm not mad at you, I just miss you.
Sometimes I miss you, so I punch trees and I listen to loud music.
Sometimes I miss you.
I stand there and I wail at a tree, and bits of bark are flying everywhere, and it gets in my eyes, and I can't see so I shut them, but when I close my eyes, I just see you. My knuckles are bleeding and some guy is screaming in my ear and I keep hitting the tree and--and--
I don't remember how I ended up on the ground. It feels like I've been crying, but I can't remember that either. I can't stop thinking about you, no matter how much I punish my hands or my ears.
My knuckles will never hurt badly enough.
The music will never be loud enough.
"I want my first kiss to be special, the two of us alone, watching the sun as it sets, as the fireflies float as the darkness looms around"
"That's too cheesy" you commented.
I rolled my eyes at you.
Then I felt your lips on my lips,
"We don't need those kinds of settings just to make a kiss special, it's special as long as you're the one I'm kissing" you said with that grin that made me fall in love with you.
"Oh shut up" I just said, trying to hide the blush on my cheeks.
Hold up. Wait a minute.
I'm 19 years old and crying about how I can't get a boy to like me or want to date me.
HELLO. I AM 19. I am in college. I am young. This is a time in my life where it is somewhat acceptable to be single. I can travel. I can focus on my studies. I can stay up all night with my friends and talk about everything and anything. I can focus on my career. I can do what I want.
I took a kickboxing class tonight. Everytime my fist hit the bag the only thing running through my mind was your name, your face, & every bullshit text you ever sent me.
I have never felt better in my life.
Thank you for empowering me.