Its hard to move on when you're everything I ever wanted and more. You're the most beautiful person on this earth to me, inside and out. How do I get over someone that I love so completely?
Today was the day that I stood next to you in our local church and in front of all our family and friends.
I fixed your tie for you and pinned your cuff links while you commented on how beautiful I looked today. It was kinda funny that the guy who used to throw paper airplanes towards me back in primary school has become the person who constantly enchanted me most of my life.
I watched you as I marched down the aisle with a huge smile on my face with petunias, your favorite flower, adorning my hair. I've always dreamed of this moment to come and to see you waiting in front of the altar wearing a dashing suit made my fantasies even become more vivid.
I stood next to you in front of our family and friends with tears forming droplets in my eyes that I tried to hold back at each time.
I thought I was strong enough. I thought that I could be the perfect "best man" for you. I didn't know that watching you marry her would be this hard.
Today you got married and I wasn't the bride.
i told him i was asexual today, and i couldn't stop apoligizing.
i was sure he was going to leave.
i mean- what are the chances of someone actually wanting to be with a girl who doesn't like sex? doesn't want to have sex?
but he just stared at me, confused.
i was about to explain what "asexual" meant, guessing that he didn't know, but then he cut me off.
"i'm actually a bit offended that you think you have to apologize for this. and whether you like it or not, i love you and i'm not going anywhere."
he never told me he loved me before.
i said it back, apologizing for apologizing until he cut me off by engulfing me in the biggest hug ever.
fuck, i'm lucky.
I don't really know how love works. I've tried before and it gets pretty messy.
but I like you a lot. you're a caring person and you make me laugh. and I just want to protect you from everything bad in the world, and fall asleep in your arms every night. you're a beautiful soul. all I know is that I want to be with you. I want to hold your hand and kiss you and just have you be mine.
is that okay?
years ago I posted the story of our fist date.
Today I post from the bedroom of our first home, only days before our wedding.
i once thought I didn't deserve this kind of love, but I was so wrong.
Have you ever, for the briefest of moments, locked eyes with a complete stranger and thought: I could fall in love with you?
It sounds absurd, but something about them--the way their eyes crinkle when they smile, the way they seem to exude warmth just by being there--something seems to tell you that something extraordinary could happen between the two of you.
And then you pass them by.
I wonder how often, without even knowing it, we've let go of a person with whom we might have experienced one of life's greatest--and scariest--adventures.
Maybe next time, I won't submit myself to a single, meaningful glance.
Maybe next time I'll say hello.
this site is so cute and so tragic and so poetic in such a subtle way all at the same time I wish you all good luck truly
Today, my little sister handed one of her in-progress drawings to me; despite the fact that it was an extremely old, folded, crinkled piece of scratch paper with printing on one side, she had drawn a dragon on the other side.
It was a gorgeous dragon. She had painstakingly drawn hundreds of shaded scales all over it, positioned the wings carefully, and given the dragon an eye and face that seemingly burned with fiery confidence.
She wanted my help in finishing the dragon, so I took it to my room and worked on it for a while. At some point, I flipped the paper over out of curiosity to see what the paper had previously been used for, and discovered that it had been used to print a medical bill from an insurance company over 10 years ago, when my mother had first gotten cancer.
Such an old paper. Once upon a time, it must have been a horrible thing to behold, as it displayed the stunning costs of chemotherapy and depicted the beginning of a five year long period of struggling and suffering and hopelessness revolving around my mother and her metastatic cancer.
But my sister had found it, 10 years later, and turned it into something beautiful. Now, it represents more than the hopelessness of the past. It represents beautiful things: my sister's love for dragons, her determination to embellish the dragon with shading on every little scale, my willingness to help her finish it.
It's as if it were saying, if your life is like a paper printing hopelessness, just turn it over, to the blank side, and draw something beautiful. Make your life beautiful.
You asked me yesterday. What is the meaning of my life. I'm afraid to say that it was You. I won't risk our friendship over this!