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I'm sorry for trying to force a confession out of you. I'm sorry I was too selfish to see past my own pain.

HELP me find Mike .C / Laternight from the area DC

so

I have to get things off my mind.

And since I don't know any other platform, i decided here will be the place that I vent. And seek help

There used to be this boy. For a very long time, we talked on KIK. It was all very fun and games but he also got me. And it didn't take long before, years back, i had serious feelings for him. But he made sure to tell me it wouldn't happen cause of the distance.

Fast forward to last year september-october. Or ealier. I was in a very bad mental state. And in that moment he thought it was GREAT to say hey i like you. Which of course all ended in tears. It got to a point where i completely shut down, surrounded with ALL my shit. And I deleted the KIK app.

This guy even made up a Facebook to reach me. With the name "Sin Hard" and no friends or profile picture. What a champ!

Anyway on 1ste of december i wrote a long letter (to apologise and explain why I completely shut down) to him and send it on Fb, I texted on Kik and everything but nothing anymore.

The weird thing is, stupid things remind me of him. Like the stupid male character in my book who is strong, a dichhead and funny. And that's all him you know.

I texted from time to time, even made a new profile on kik because I was like "he probably blocked me and that's why he doesn't receive my messages. i texted when the pandemic hit and all.

And things going a little south right now, and me reading that book again (rereading) I can't help but want to reach him so I can say like hey, you were a really good friend and I'm really sorry I put you through my mental state. (I was honestly in deep).

So now since like yesterday I have this bad habit where I stalk text him, complaining and telling what i have been up to and how things are. (I know, I know it sounds kinda excessive and dumb and probably psycho crazy). But it gets worse because I texted Kik to ask hey is this profile like up anymore or deleted? Because well even more dumb if I'm texting something that doesn't exist anymore.

Anyway I'm not sure where I'm going with this but I feel like I need to reach him and say sorry and you know just say sorry.

So

if anyone has advice, let's hear it.

OR Mike .C if you're reading this, please get back to me? (If you want at all). (Also i have a big feeling you're not on here)

OR if ANYONE ANYONE on here knows a Mike .C or Laternight (username on KIK) that's from the area of DC Washington (he vaguely told me something like that). Please get word out?

Please.

Thank you

If I try to like you long enough, will I eventually like you back? Kind of like a smile can make you happy, can I will myself to like you back? I really want to

no one can get in the way of what i feel for you.

-🌙

I have a crush on this guy. He’s a couple years older than me, and we’ve know each other since I was 9, and he was 11. I text his sister all the time, and she has suspicions on me- but I didn’t think I liked him until I thought about it. I want to get his number- but I can’t get it unless I get it from his sister, and she won’t give it to me. And turns out, I like him. I don’t want to tell him, but at the same time, I do. We have the same NAME, so that only makes it worse. I don’t want a crush, but I have one. Please help me out here!

W

Ok here is a memory

You asked for a ride to your car because even though it was just a few blocks away the temperature was subzero polar vortex type stuff. Or maybe you wanted to be alone with me for a minute? No idea. Never could tell just what the deal was with you. Anyway we got to my car and this is where my memory gets a bit hazy because once you were sitting next to me the electricity was so intense that I felt like I was tripping. You couldn’t remember where you had parked. Or maybe you were just pretending to not remember so you could spend another minute? We found your car and it was the same model as my car but nicer. You paused for a second before exiting the vehicle and in that second I saw it in your eyes. Your eyes said that you wanted to spend a lot more time with me.



I have started to move on a little bit from you. It’s progress for me. And yes, I’m aware that I’m trying to move on from you even though we never even dated. We were never a thing.

What’s helped me, is my own thoughts. I’ve changed the way I think, more importantly what I think or thought of you.

I’ve convinced myself that: yes, I believe you were one of the most incredible people I have ever met. I genuinely loved you, not only romantically but also as a person. But I now come to terms with the fact that although you were incredible to me, you did have flaws. More importantly, you had things or did things that weren’t exactly what I want or what I’m looking for in a relationship. But because I was so blinded by that love, I pushed those things aside. Which was not healthy because even though they didn’t bother me in our friendship, maybe they would become an issue if we ever dated. That doesn’t mean you were a bad person, I just had certain preferences and dealbreakers that just wouldn’t fit with us. This is normal, not everyone is meant to be a great match for everyone. We wouldn’t have worked out either way and I realize this now.

Another thing that has helped me is realizing that although I thought I would never find someone better than you, or someone that made me feel like you made me feel, that is not true. There are thousands, thousands of people all over the world. I know for a FACT that there is at least one other person in this world that I would connect with even more if not the same as what I did with you. I know for a fact that I could love another person out there, more than I loved you.

Lastly, what’s helped me moved on even more is time. Just think about it, the total amount of time that we became friends until this current date is only 9 months. I should NOT be clinging on to a guy that I just talked or was friends with, for just 9 months. Yes, we both obviously had feelings, you confessed them to me, but at the time I was too scared and immature to confess my feelings. So we just both went our separate ways and you started dating a girl that you met very quickly. That’s it. Our story is over. You clearly didn’t care enough to wait for me, or try a little harder, or chase me. Like, you waited no time. It’s ok though. Obviously we were just not meant to be. That’s that.

I’m moving on and that’s it. I will always keep loving you as a person, and if you ever need help with anything I will be here for you. But it’s time that I stopped having hope for something that might never happen. I have to let you go, and find someone that is the right match for me.

-Girl Just Trying To Move On


There was never enough left of you.

The last time I ever saw you much less spoke to you, you were leaning against the brick wall. People rushed by us but you look like you had been placed there on purpose. You looked like you had been waiting for our argument.

I remember crying but I don't remember anything else. I wanted you to take my hands. I wanted the people in the subway to stop staring. I wanted us to keep pretending it would be alright.

But, like I said, there wasn't enough of you. Too tired to care or too lonely to be... together.

I miss you and if I saw you again I would try and make you whole.

This is it. This video has helped me move on guys, I think I left those 2 crazy years with him behind after this one video

https://vm.tiktok.com/JR6QcWE/

-Sparkfruit

Intrusive thoughts ruin conversation.