I was brave, no ones ever made me feel this way, so I sent a txt. I know it’s probably gone into your requests, perhaps you are ghosting me. Everyone knows, they’ve probably been telling you and I’m embarrassed ?
if only i had a way to see into the future to see how our relationship ends so that i can finally stop worrying and feeling depressed about how stupid i am for falling for you. you are amazing i see no flaw in your personality and to know that someone as perfect as you and someone as stupid as me will never be together. it hurts me so much. i wish i never loved you like i do now, i wish i never got to know you, i wish you loved me like like i do, i wish so many things and yet god hasent given me the chance to have them. maybe it's meant to be that way but the only question is why?
Everyone now knows I like you and are judging me for it, calling me weird... sad... pathetic. I’m never showing my face again, I truly did care no matter what lies they spread. It’s not even me I feel sorry for, it’s you now; you’re going to have to put up with them.
God how i wish i never fell in love with you. i dont understand my love for you and to know that i see you everyday wishing we could talk hurts me and makes me want to break down in front of you so that you can know how much a truly love you. people say you love me and i believe them but if you love me why havent you said anything, why havent you at least tried, why dident you love me like i loved you. it's not your fault you were my first true love and i will never forget you. but i wish i never fell for you like i did.
I see him again today, like everyday. I will more than likely talk to him again, probably for way too long as he likes to walk with me (nothing else could explain why he waits around or starts going “oh and” whenever I try to leave to not get us in trouble). It’s magic to me but it’s nothing to him. There was something about yesterday that changed something. A split second while making eye contact I felt your energy change and I glared deep into your eyes to try and figure out where you were at. And you caught me doing it, so I looked away. I can’t bare to look at you directly most of the time so eye contact between us is rare. It’s magic to me but it’s nothing to you. I love you enough to bare the pain of pretending I only see you as a friend, but I’m so stuck on yesterday. You have to know deep down. There’s no way you don’t. There’s no way I’m going to tell you regardless
-L
smoking makes me paranoid , I had to quit. honestly I'm a lot happier sober. I look better sober. I feel better sober