Being hurt is a funny thing. Once it’s happened so many times, you start building up these walls and you start feeling like nobody’s ever going to be able to get through them. You throw away the keys to the deepest darkest part of the ocean where nobody will ever find it and you barricade yourself inside. You start thinking that every single person that’s betrayed you, walked out on you, made you feel less worthy is right and that if you let somebody in through those walls again it’s all going to happen over again.

You spend every single night thinking and wondering what’s wrong with yourself , why nobody to wants to give you a chance, why nobody wants you in their life and what you’ve done wrong until you start believing everything is all your fault. You look at the world around you, and you see your friends and your family all happy and regardless of how many times you explain things to them they don’t understand it. They can’t possibly understand why you are so afraid of opening up to someone or why you’re hurting to begin with and then they just shrug. “It’s no big deal.” they say, “bad things happen to everyone, it’s not just you.” But they can’t see your pain and they don’t know you wake up in the morning, you go about your day with a smile on your face and you come back home and you cry. 

14 comments add comment

  • anonymous lover
9 years ago

This is beautiful. You have a talent for writing.

  • Authoress
9 years ago

thank you :)

  • anonymous lover
9 years ago

Incredible. You've described my life.

  • Gray vans.
9 years ago

This is absolutely beautiful. You put my life into words and..I just..wow...I don't ever wanna stop reading this..I would really like to talk to you sometime but..I don't know how I would..

  • AM
9 years ago

This is me, in nutshell.

  • Mj
9 years ago

Beautiful and heartbreaking. It sums up my life so well. One day we will throw this hurt away for good and find our place.

  • SS
9 years ago

The pain doesn't have to consume you. Love like you've never been hurt before because one day someone will come around who doesn't hurt you the way the others did.

  • A x
9 years ago

This is what I feel every single time. Thank you for this.

  • anonymous lover
9 years ago

Pain is inevitable. Let it come, let it consume you and let it wash away. It will always get better (:

  • Dreamer
9 years ago

I agree that pain is inevitable and part of the human life that we must learn to swallow, but I also agree with those who say that bad things happen to everyone. I feel like sometimes we get this feeling of immense loss, of sadness and despair and loneliness, and we imagine ourselves being the only humans on earth who have ever suffered through something like this. And I don't think it's selfish necessarily-- of course we are allowed to love ourselves all of the time and pity ourselves some of the time-- but it is a little bit narcissistic and can make things so much worse than they really are. Sometimes you need to throw yourself wholly into the world, arms open, and take the pain and turn it into hard work and passion. The wallowing just makes the world suck a lot more for a lot longer time.

  • R
9 years ago

Wow! Just wow! Brought tears to my eyes, felt like you were talking about me and my life! Wow!

  • anonymous lover
9 years ago

Oh my God this is exactly me

  • D
9 years ago

I'm going to be 24 next month, but reading this letter made me tear up and cry like I was 14 all over again. It brought back everything; all those hurt feelings back in a rush, but it wasn't unwelcome because it was so beautifully written and aptly described. I'm really thankful that you wrote it, and I wish we could even talk sometime (though I'm not sure how either). I know things are "supposed" to get better and we'll "eventually" find someone who actually likes us back, but it's just really hard to believe any of that. It's been 10 years and I'm still searching, still hurting, never experiencing what other people talk about, and I guess it's their expectations that really make me frustrated (because I start to expect happiness for myself too). Trust me buddy, if we knew each other in real life, I would hug you 1000 times over for every time shit hit the fan!!!

  • P
9 years ago

Amazing. You've put into words exactly what my life feels like.

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