Look, I'm a wuss, and I run away from my feelings. Getting close to you scared me because I knew I fell hard for you so quickly, but we were just friends and I couldn't be with you, and I didn't want to give myself false hope since you were taken.

But damn, sometimes I could swear you must have felt something for me. The way you smiled at me, laughed with me. Told me your dark secrets. You seemed to cherish everything about our friendship. You let me in. And you're the type of person who doesn't let many people in.

I felt like I had my chance with you, but I didn't take it. That's where the wuss part comes in. I couldn't take the leap. I was too scared. Too scared to actually let someone in and see every little part of me. Afraid you'd think I wasn't worth it. Afraid I'd get my heart broken.

I curse myself for not going for it. I kept telling myself the perfect moment would come and I could tell you everything. But damn it, you're gone now and I'll probably never see you again, and those moments WERE there before. I was just too scared. I let them slip through my fingers.

I've written a thousand letters to you on this site since I met you a couple years ago. You awoke my heart from the slumber it was in and made me feel again. Thank you so much for that. I'll never be able to explain what that meant to me, and how much it changed my life for the better.

In the end, I guess you were just someone I could not get to. The one that got away. I used to dream about your smile, and the way you'd look at me. I used to swear that look must have meant something deeper, like you felt what I felt when we talked. I'll never know now.

If I never see you again...please know I am thankful you came into my life. And I'm glad you opened up to me. I'm just not glad about you being gone. I miss you, and wish my friend would come back.

16 comments add comment

  • anonymous lover
9 years ago

ask em.

  • anonymous lover
9 years ago

Same...

  • zward
9 years ago

well funking poo 3000memories came back. i know exactly how you feel and that shiz hurts like hell...

  • st
9 years ago

Holy fuck, please be for me. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

sigh.

  • anonymous lover
9 years ago

oh my gosh i came on this site to try to express my feelings and now i don't need to cause you just did it perfectly. wow. thank you

  • anonymous lover
9 years ago

The exact same thing for me

  • anonymous
9 years ago

I just went through this same thing. This letter explained my feelings perfectly. Hang in there!

  • anonymous lover
9 years ago

I think everyone of us has felt this way at one point or another. Beautifully written Kat

  • A
9 years ago

It's amazing how you putted that into words. Your last sentence just show how much you love him, how your heart is pure, how your love is beautiful.

Remind this love with a bright smile, remind all those feelings you were able to feel when you were with him, cause there are all beautiful, the bad, and the good ones. You are thankful you were able to feel them and it's what makes you beautiful, even for a person that just read that without a clue of who you are, how you look.

Thank you for sharing this, cause it could warm up a frozen heart.

Truly hope you will be happy, less sad, don't have regrets, and can see what you have already win with all that.

Best luck to you.

  • Writer
9 years ago

A - It's written about a girl actually. Thank you for the kind thoughts.

Thanks to everyone else as well. It's always good to know there are others who appreciate these situations and are going through them as well. None of us are alone, and we'll all get through it. I promise.

  • To the Writer
9 years ago

I read Your text and I cried so hard.

You took the words right out of my mouth. I know exactly how you feel.

It even made me think a really silly thought - how awesome would it be if You - the person writing this - were my crush or my crush would feel like this. And since I think the same way too, how cool it would be if we found that out about each other... Because that's pretty much all I wanted - him to feel the same way. That it wasn't just me. That it wasn't just in my head.

But that doesn't happen in real life, that's something out of fairytales. It did made me think that I should actually write him how I feel. He lives in another country and we will most probably never see each other again since he has no business coming back here. I never got that perfect moment to tell/ show him how I feel. It haunts me to this day...

So writing a real actual letter (on paper and all!) is the only thing I have left up in my sleeve. I feel like I've done everything else and there really aren't other options available. It's not like we see each other on daily basis. We don't even talk anymore. I think I should take it as a sign though.

But I'm so scared. What if he thinks I'm this crazy person? I don't even know him that well, how can I tell him with all seriousness that I have a huge crush on him? But the more I think about it the more I realise that it's the only thing that there is left to do.

Or what do You think? How would You react if someone just said - hey, this is crazy, but I like You a lot, like a LOT lot.

Oh, I don't know what to do...

  • Aubrey
9 years ago

I went through this same situation but it is me who is away from him now. I knew him for maybe about three years, moved halfway across the country, a thousand miles from him, and all my other friends and family over the summer. I felt like this could be what he was feeling while I was there and what he's feeling now. It definitely is how I'm feeling. But it couldn't be. He was dating one of my friends off and on practically the whole time I knew him. It was either my best friend or my old best friend off and on never giving me the chance to even tell him how felt before one of them asked him out again. I don't even think he liked them but he was the sweetest guy so I think he wasn't really doing it to not hurt their feelings but more to give them a chance. I miss him so much.

  • Aubrey
9 years ago

But this couldn't be my sweet javon for he never knew this site because I never told him. But I shall continue to pretend that he wrote it so that reality doesn't catch up with me and break my heart over and over. Thank you dear writer. I shall cherish your letter to this girl. Perhaps you will meet her again someday and will finally tell her how you feel. The moment I go back to my hometown to visit everyone I'm going to tell him how insanely in love with him I am. Wish me luck! It will probably be in a year before I see him again, possibly next summer but I am to stay true to my word.

  • Writer
9 years ago

Good lucky Aubrey. And you go for it. Don't think about it too much. You clearly know how you feel. Life's too short to hold these things back. Tell him. :)

  • anonymous lover
9 years ago

Honey, if this is you, I still miss you, like, all the time. Please, please just call me, I know you still have my number.

  • Aubrey
9 years ago

To the writer, thank you. I have been telling myself now that once I start liking a guy I'm just going to go for it now. I'm just going to tell him, and if he doesn't feel the same way I'm going to tell myself that it's okay, it wasn't meant to be, and move on. So I don't lose my last chance to tell a guy like what I had done with javon. I won't make that mistake again

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