can i just tell you guys about him?

like, oh my god. i love him so damn much. when i knew, when i really knew, it was overwhelming. it was like swimming in the kiddie pool and realizing i was in the 9 ft section all along. i drowned in the realization of how much i really love him.

i want to breathe but i honestly love him taking my breath away.

he's gorgeous. when he smiles, it fills his whole face. cheekbones: killer. he has full, sweet lips and honey eyes that have trapped me. i look into them and i'm suddenly a small bug, consumed by amber. random freckles spot his head, topped off with a cute mole on his lip. i look at him, though, and don't see any of his appealing features. i look at him and just melt. five seconds gazing at his face and my heart swells at the fact that i am so utterly blessed.

i am so lucky to have him. i don't know how i got so lucky. when anxiety starts to creep on me, he tells me to breathe, tells me i'm okay. rubs my hands, back in small circles. when i have bad days, he tells me to remember that he loves me, to keep my chin up.

he calls me his queen. he treats me like one. kissing my hand, my cheeks, nose, forehead, lips, neck. i've never felt happier than when i'm in his arms, breathing him in.

he tells me i'm beautiful. he knows that i'm smart. he respects my independence. he calls my mom "mama" and looks at me like i make the sun rise.

i want to marry him.