Five days a week, you intrigue me and you terrify me. You make me feel alive. Seven days a week, I think about you. I can't even help it. I try to stay busy, but it's still not easy.

I wish we could have met sooner, when we went to the same school and possibly sat next to each other at the library. Now you've been with your boyfriend for years and it's painful to see that you love him. I want you to be happy most of all, but I keep hoping that there's something he can't offer you, that there's something about him you're fed up with, or that you just need a change. At the same time, I know leaving him would result in
questions from family and friends. You grew up together. It probably feels impossible.

I don't remember the last time I met someone like you. You're the definition of exuberant. You're full of life, happy, and you have a great sense of humour. You can light up a room with your presence and still make every single person in it feel special. I know we joke around about it, but you're also incredibly kind. Talking to you is sometimes the high point of my day. I can't imagine finding someone who would compare to you in making me feel the way I do.

I know we have something and I can't forcibly convince you of how great it could be. All I can do is talk to you, get to know you more, do little things for you, and tell you jokes once in a while. I love the way you react to my flirtations. If it was up to me, I would never deny you that feeling.

There's a world out there you're not seeing. I'd like to take you to Cambodia or Morocco. I'd like to make an elaborate dinner and watch art films with you, I'd like to go to lectures and debates with you, I'd like to probe your mind and figure out your deepest thoughts, hopes, and fears. There's so much good we can bring out in one another.

You're comfortable. So am I. You're a smart woman, though, and I know you've got a sense that, for all the fun you've had, it's not enough. I want to challenge you and invigorate you. I want to give you an everlasting happiness.

Give it a chance.

R.P

9 comments add comment

  • anonymous lover
8 years ago

Are you even real lol.

  • anonymous lover
8 years ago

i love this. oh t'were someone to write this fo me. :)

  • Anon
8 years ago

Honestly, if you really care about her, leave her alone. Break ups are devastating and it sounds like she's happy with her current boyfriend. Homewrecking doesn't help you or her, no matter how much you want to believe it does. If it's meant to work out, it will naturally. Don't try to force your way in.

  • Sho
8 years ago

I fear you and I may be in the same boat, just a little gender-swapped. Here's to hoping that she'll always be happy, whether with you or not, that's more or less up to her. "If you love her, let her go. If she comes back, then she's yours to keep." Words of wisdom that are an utter pain to follow. Even I can't do it. If someone isn't going through what you are, they won't understand the pain of letting go. I just wanted to say that you shouldn't give up hope, but you shouldn't try and force anything with her, not that you seem like the type of guy who would.

  • Chesda Unicorn
8 years ago

Wish you brought her here one day. :)

P.S: I'm in Cambodia. :)

  • anonymous lover
8 years ago

I understand your urgent feelings as well as your mindset, but I do hope you respect her and her relationship. Like others have said, if you were to force yourself into her life as a romantic interest, I certainly wouldn't support that. Nevertheless, your emotions are valid.

  • R.P
8 years ago

Yeah, I know what you're saying anonymous. From the outside looking in, it's easy to find all kinds of faults with their relationship. I have no idea what it's like from the inside. I can keep telling myself stories where I play her saviour, but it's entirely possible that she's never considered such a scenario with anyone.

I haven't behaved aggressively. I feel I've made my feelings as clear as I can in an office workplace. If things go bad between them, then maybe something can happen between us. I would never force that, though. For now, I have to try to move on without telling myself stories.

  • the 4th anon who commented
8 years ago

I definitely know what that's like: finding faults as an observer, envisioning scenarios in which the love interest finally realizes what they've been missing out on, and... yeah. I'm glad that you haven't been forcing yourself between them, too.

I empathize completely, and I'm sorry this is your predicament. If you ever need someone to talk to, you've got an entire community of LTC writers and readers who'd love to listen.

  • R.P
7 years ago

The funny thing is, one month after writing this, I met someone else. We actually dated for about a month. I told myself stories about her. I tried to act cool. I was afraid of opening up. I took it too seriously. I got paranoid. I drove her away.

I went to Cambodia on my own. To be honest, I put off dating until my late 20s. I didn't know what I was doing. I thought she was looking for someone serious and therefore I had to be serious with her. I had no idea. It was such a great feeling when I met her and discovered everything that we shared. She has such a beautiful and sensitive soul. Sure it was never a real relationship but I know what I want and I realized she was everything I ever wanted, whether I knew it beforehand or not.

It's funny, reading back this original comment. Now I can easily imagine someone who made me feel even better. Unfortunately it, too, did not turn out well. It's been nine months since we stopped dating and almost seven since I last spoke to her. I've gone out with many other girls since, but I cannot stop thinking about the things she told me, the delicate features of her face, and a few seconds of her singing. I actually can't get that sound out of my head.

She started dating someone new a few months ago. All I could think at the time was how wrong he was for her on paper. He's nothing like me. She and I have much more in common. I was lazy, though, and I was dumb. I never excited her at all. I stopped looking at her online profiles for good about two months ago. Still, I don't know when I'll stop thinking of her.

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