My first boyfriend used this site to confess his feelings for me. Crazy to think that was over 6 years ago.

We were laying in my bed on my 17th birthday. You showed me a poem you had written a few hours before, and had posted to Letters to Crushes. We were just friends then - best friends. But it quickly grew into my first love.

But after we broke up, I used this website to confess my deepest darkest fears. For months, it was my safety. I exposed the scars you had left me. The lies you made me believe about myself.

I disappeared for a while. I would visit every few years. Maybe leave a brief note for a passing fling, or a snarky remark after a failed first date.

In those 6 years I finished college, started my career, and am planting my roots in a city and community I love. Though it felt like it took decades, I have finally found healing.

Over the last year, I finally began to understand that the things you said in our fallout don't define me. The identity you spoke over me isn't true.

And now that I am healed - I finally feel like I am ready to love and be loved again.

I met a guy, 4 months ago. Just like with you, we have quickly become best friends. The feelings I have when I am around him remind me of our earlier days - the adrenaline, the admiration, the warmth. But with him it's deeper, more mature. It feels pure and good. I think it could be the best thing that has ever happened.

But I am not sure he feels the same. I am not sure if it will ever grow beyond a friendship.

So I find myself here again, scrolling through Letters to Crushes, 6 years later - hoping my best friend has left me a letter, confessing his feelings for me.

3 comments add comment

  • anonymous lover
11 months ago

You can't go back.

  • anonymous lover
10 months ago

I hope your new best friend treats you really well. Please leave him if he doesn't. You've been a successful person. You picked yourself up and dusted yourself off. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself ever again.

  • Mdesires
9 months ago

Good luck

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