honestly, when i found out you really did like her, i wasnt surprised. anyone could see that fact if they paid attention to the way you acted around her for more than ten seconds. but it hurt a lot more than expected. i feel betrayed for being led on, but in the end isn't that all my fault? it was me who got false hope from all the interactions we had. in the end, it was all just in my head.

i want to cry, and have cried multiple times over you. sometimes it comes out unexpectedly, just when i think my tears have run dry. i hate that. i want to force myself to forget everything about you, but i cant just unlove you like that. i hate that too.

i hate myself a lot. i hate you a lot. and i hate the fact that i can't force myself to hate you because i'm still into you.