❤️

I couldn't find the right words to explain how I've been feeling lately.

But this. I read this, and I had an "A-HA" moment...

Life is too short to settle for anything less than fire.

I wonder what happened. It seriously must suck to be your boyfriend in this letter.

this reminds me of The Wedding Ringer starring Kevin Hart

this is sadly what happens when you let logic rule your romance :( gotta follow the fire.

Yeah... I should follow the fire. Just leave me girl and go to another one who make me “feel alive.”

My girl*

The fire ends up burning you. You don’t know how good you have it. You’re not being a good person.

In every relationship the fire eventually burns out. It leaves a comfortable glow behind. If you give up on a relationship each time the fire burns out, you will never be happy.

You are a good person. You are brave enough not to settle. Brave enough to realize there is a difference between love and being in love. Braver than most people who settle for a mediocre marriage instead of chasing their dreams. You are one of the rare ones.

THE GRASS IS NOT ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE

Brave enough to lead a guy on and then replace him with someone better. Brave enough to always just keep chasing what makes you “feel alive.”

Who said people settle for mediocre marriages. Everything later on fades away. love is not all sparks and passion. That’s infatuation... not love. Love is selfless... not selfish

^^^!!!

I truly hope you are happy, but this just makes me sad. I'm a middle aged engineer who has been turned down by every girl I've ever asked out. I'm resigned to the fact that I will never excite anyone. Oh well. Ive always thought love was bullshit, and I love this site, but it often gives me evidence to support this opinion.

I’m slowly realizing that too.

Fire is overrated.

My love, you do not know how much you have.

Well shit.

I noticed that this letter I wrote in December was on the front page today, and I was surprised. I am also reading several comments that are presuming to know the details of my relationship, based off of nothing more than several sentences.

I realize that by posting on a public website that allows comments, I’m opening myself up for a backlash, but a three paragraph snapshot of how I’m feeling cannot possibly be enough for someone to claim that I’m not being a good person, that I’m leading someone on, or that I don’t know what I have. Bear that in mind when you imply that I’m making a poor choice.

I broke up with my boyfriend the day after I wrote this letter because I realized that I would never be truly happy with him, and I knew almost immediately that I made the right choice. I stand by that still.

My lack of excitement was not due to the fact that our relationship was over a year old, and no, it had nothing to do with the fact that he’s an engineer. It was because in the very beginning when the fire should have been at it’s brightest, I barely felt a thing. I was able to delude myself into thinking that this was sustainable because we were so compatible and he was such a wonderful person.

If being honest with myself and leaving something that was leaving me in tears makes me terrible, so be it, but I ask that you think about whether the opinion you leave on a few sentences of writing is anywhere close to well-informed enough to be worth putting down.

Hi author...

I agree that people went too far in judging you. Every situation is different. But to understand where most people are coming from when they make these comments, most people on this site relate more to the boyfriend you left as opposed to your position. It is a site full of people who have been rejected, often over and over, and in some cases their whole lives. Many of us envy your position of being able to choose our own fate when it comes to wether or not stay with someone. We have longed to be the one who is accepted.

I hope that makes sense as to why many of the comments may be harsh... I wish you the best.

Hypergamy at its finest

You made the right choice. I ended up married to my „logical choice“. I love my husband in a certain way. We have a ton of fun. Thats it.

Recently I have met the one who lit my fire and can't stop thinking about him. I wish you best luck with your fiery man! To me you are brave!

Love your response to these comments, author.

Glad to learn you followed your heart. Best wishes to you and whoever is lucky enough to become yours.

I know this post is already a couple of months old and it's unlikely anyone's going to read this, but I'd like to offer an additional perspective to anyone who might use the discussion in the comments as advice for their own situation.

I was in a sensible relationship once. He was sweet, caring, funny and when we first met, he was crazy about me. I liked him, but not in the butterflies-flying-out-your-arse kind of way. I gave the relationship a try because I figured these feelings might still develop.

It lasted for two years, during which I got to learn the ins and outs of a great guy and I learned to love him and all his qualities, though few of them really excited me. Nevertheless, I made the decision to stay with him. Forever. I decided I wanted to spend my life with him, have children with him, grow old with him. Excitement and passion are not a good base for lasting relationships anyway, I told myself.

Then he left me. Out of the blue. He didn't give me a reason or explanation, he just sort of stopped loving me, I guess.

There are two stories here, and both are equally relevant. His side is the story of how he met an amazing girl and had to realise she's not all he had hoped her to be. My side is the story of how I settled for something I thought was secure, something I was willing to work on to make it last, and it didn't.

Both stories teach a lesson:

Excitement usually isn't sustainable, and it's important to remember that.

But also: There's always a chance you'll fail. But it's only worth failing at things you care about.

Thank you for sharing.... I really think there are only a few ways love can succeed and be sustainable, but there are thousands of ways it can go wrong...