He was always the sensible choice. He's an engineer going to grad school with his life together, and he has everything going for him. We have tons in common and we have so much fun together.

Dating him was a choice I made when I realized I would be stupid not to go for it. I would be stupid to let this one go. And so for over a year, we've had a smooth, stable, easy, loving thing going. I thought to myself, this is it. This is the one I'm going to end up with forever.

And I didn't realize what had been missing from the beginning until the day I met someone who put a fire in my heart, and it's been burning there ever since. My boyfriend makes me feel warm and safe and comfortable, but I realized that for the first time in years, someone else was making me feel alive.

21 comments add comment

  • anonymous lover
5 months ago

❤️

  • anonymous lover
3 months ago

I couldn't find the right words to explain how I've been feeling lately.

But this. I read this, and I had an "A-HA" moment...

Life is too short to settle for anything less than fire.

  • anonymous lover
3 months ago

I wonder what happened. It seriously must suck to be your boyfriend in this letter.

  • anonymous lover
3 months ago

this reminds me of The Wedding Ringer starring Kevin Hart

  • anonymous lover
3 months ago

this is sadly what happens when you let logic rule your romance :( gotta follow the fire.

  • anonymous lover
3 months ago

Yeah... I should follow the fire. Just leave me girl and go to another one who make me “feel alive.”

  • ^
3 months ago

My girl*

  • anonymous lover
3 months ago

The fire ends up burning you. You don’t know how good you have it. You’re not being a good person.

  • anonymous lover
3 months ago

In every relationship the fire eventually burns out. It leaves a comfortable glow behind. If you give up on a relationship each time the fire burns out, you will never be happy.

  • anonymous lover
3 months ago

You are a good person. You are brave enough not to settle. Brave enough to realize there is a difference between love and being in love. Braver than most people who settle for a mediocre marriage instead of chasing their dreams. You are one of the rare ones.

  • anonymous lover
3 months ago

THE GRASS IS NOT ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE

  • anonymous lover
3 months ago

Brave enough to lead a guy on and then replace him with someone better. Brave enough to always just keep chasing what makes you “feel alive.”

Who said people settle for mediocre marriages. Everything later on fades away. love is not all sparks and passion. That’s infatuation... not love. Love is selfless... not selfish

  • anonymous lover
3 months ago

^^^!!!

  • anonymous lover
3 months ago

I truly hope you are happy, but this just makes me sad. I'm a middle aged engineer who has been turned down by every girl I've ever asked out. I'm resigned to the fact that I will never excite anyone. Oh well. Ive always thought love was bullshit, and I love this site, but it often gives me evidence to support this opinion.

  • ^
3 months ago

I’m slowly realizing that too.

  • Eos
3 months ago

Fire is overrated.

My love, you do not know how much you have.

  • Author
3 months ago

Well shit.

I noticed that this letter I wrote in December was on the front page today, and I was surprised. I am also reading several comments that are presuming to know the details of my relationship, based off of nothing more than several sentences.

I realize that by posting on a public website that allows comments, I’m opening myself up for a backlash, but a three paragraph snapshot of how I’m feeling cannot possibly be enough for someone to claim that I’m not being a good person, that I’m leading someone on, or that I don’t know what I have. Bear that in mind when you imply that I’m making a poor choice.

I broke up with my boyfriend the day after I wrote this letter because I realized that I would never be truly happy with him, and I knew almost immediately that I made the right choice. I stand by that still.

My lack of excitement was not due to the fact that our relationship was over a year old, and no, it had nothing to do with the fact that he’s an engineer. It was because in the very beginning when the fire should have been at it’s brightest, I barely felt a thing. I was able to delude myself into thinking that this was sustainable because we were so compatible and he was such a wonderful person.

If being honest with myself and leaving something that was leaving me in tears makes me terrible, so be it, but I ask that you think about whether the opinion you leave on a few sentences of writing is anywhere close to well-informed enough to be worth putting down.

  • anonymous lover
3 months ago

Hi author...

I agree that people went too far in judging you. Every situation is different. But to understand where most people are coming from when they make these comments, most people on this site relate more to the boyfriend you left as opposed to your position. It is a site full of people who have been rejected, often over and over, and in some cases their whole lives. Many of us envy your position of being able to choose our own fate when it comes to wether or not stay with someone. We have longed to be the one who is accepted.

I hope that makes sense as to why many of the comments may be harsh... I wish you the best.

  • anonymous lover
3 months ago

Hypergamy at its finest

  • k
3 months ago

You made the right choice. I ended up married to my „logical choice“. I love my husband in a certain way. We have a ton of fun. Thats it.

Recently I have met the one who lit my fire and can't stop thinking about him. I wish you best luck with your fiery man! To me you are brave!

  • anonymous lover
3 months ago

Love your response to these comments, author.

Glad to learn you followed your heart. Best wishes to you and whoever is lucky enough to become yours.

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