I woke up this morning and you were the first thing on my mind - something that I absolutely despise, but nothing new.

Instead of the usual stream of consciousness surrounding you, what you say, what you do, what I wish we could be, the initial pathetic scramble quieted to leave me with the forceful, persistent pulse of one particular thought I hadn't let myself hear in a while:

Life is too short. Life can tragically end in an unexpected instant. Life doesn't care about what should have been said, shouldn't have been said, who was right, who was wrong, who had the most pride. Life can remove anything from our field of vision on a whim. This is why life is too short to waste such precious and limited time, emotion, love, energy, on anyone who so blatantly couldn't care less, anyone who doesn't appreciate it, anyone who is willing to take such investments for granted, anyone who wouldn't so much as blink once to indicate some sort of reciprocity. Our relationships with others in our lifetimes are some of the most fulfilling aspects of living; best to utilize our limited time and resources for those who can recognize and appreciate the value of it.

So then you worm your way back into my thoughts and it leaves me wondering what that all means for us. Mostly, though, what it would mean to you. I know where I stand. I know what I want. I want you in my life, I want you to know my love. I don't want to experience any more pain from your thoughtless, prideful actions - from my unconditional acceptance of them, from your unapologetic execution of them. So maybe I'll present you with these thoughts, I'll let you think on this. I know what it means to me. I don't know what it means for us. Only you can tell me.

1 comment add comment

  • this is beautiful
5 months ago

and very well written. Thre truth un this spoke to me in a way that is undeniable. Thank you. This has brought much healing to my particular situation.

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