There is a person in my life who I find incredibly frustrating. There were times when I thought that I liked him, and maybe I did, but now I definitely don't. He is someone who I have known for half my life, and I have seen him grow from a pimply, large nosed, awkward teen into a whiny, self loathing adult. I will admit that he is handsome now, and maybe I always found him handsome even then, but I do not like him anymore. I am married and I love my husband and not him. The problem is not in my waking life, but in my dreams. When I was 13 years old, I did not like him. I didn't even like him as a friend. I thought he was annoying and I avoided him like the plague. I blocked him on my chat. Then one night, I had a dream and he was in it. To be honest, I can't remember what the dream was about, promise, but when I woke up, I felt that I had to know him. We became good friends after that. He was intelligent and interesting and had a good perspective on life. He was and always will be one of my best friends. Since then, we have always kept in touch. Sometimes I would counsel him on his love life, and sometimes he would counsel me on mine. Then, we would slip apart for a while and not talk. We might not talk for days, months, a year. Right when I have almost forgotten that he is important to me, I dream of him again. My dreams are hard to explain. It's like he is there, but I only get to be with him for a short while. I almost kiss him, or almost hug him, or just spend time with him, but I know he will be leaving soon. In my dreams, I am always head over heels for him. When I wake up, I wake up wanting to reach out to him again. Wanting to repair the friendship I had almost let die out peacefully. Sometimes I wonder if something like a past life really exists, or an alternate universe, or some weird mad fate where we were or were meant to be together, because as much as I don't like him, and as much as I feel he could disappear from my life, some part of my subconscious drags him back in. It worries me and I don't like it.
10 comments add comment
- anonymous lover
- m
- anonymous lover
- anonymous lover
- anonymous lover
- m
- anonymous lover
- m
- AO
- m