I had my first kiss last friday. I'm 21. I'm the shyest person there is. I try to fight it everyday. I always make sure my feelings are buried deep underground so nobody can hurt me. Nobody can know. I've been hurt too many times.

We were in the subway when we did it. I met her that night while hanging out with friends. She was pretty. On the way there, she kept grabbing me by the arm so she wouldn't lose her balance. She was drunk, so at least that was her excuse.

She was from the Islands, so she had this stupifying accent that was so hilarious. I just thought how funny and cute she was, how she kept losing her balance, how she held on to me, the way she didn't want to leave my side. I didn't really think much of her at first. I wasn't even trying to impress anyone. That was the best part: I was just being myself and I was enjoying it. She was enjoying it.

We were talking close to each other. Then out of nowhere, this confession comes out of her, saying that she thinks i'm so cute. She was so shy. My heart melt. I thought of kissing her. So I kissed her. And it felt so right. We loved each other in that moment, inside a subway, at six in the morning, somewhere beneath the ground of the city.

I was really trying to keep it cool, like it was no big deal. But I was so incredibly nervous, my smiling fucking lips wouldn't stop twitching.

I... didn't get her number. The battery was out. It was my stop, so I had to leave quick. I gave her one last smooch. I left feeling like I would someday see her again.

It's friday tonight.

9 comments add comment

  • The Chem Prince
6 years ago

Me and my crush had this same moment once but without the kissing tho.

I know what you mean by

“I wasn't even trying to impress anyone. That was the best part: I was just being myself and I was enjoying it. She was enjoying it.”

It’s the best feeling ever. I wonder if I’ll find someone like that again. But anyway... congrats ?

  • only a girl
6 years ago

I don't know why but this makes my heart cry it's so beautiful

  • Sayuri
6 years ago

Reread this so many times.. I love this letter. This is front page material for sure <3

  • anonymous lover
6 years ago

How can someone be hurt if he doesn't open up to people

  • a little naive
6 years ago

aww did you meet her again, OP?

  • anonymous lover
6 years ago

If you met her through friends, then track her down.

  • positively negative
6 years ago

This is beautiful. And it gives me hope (I am also very shy). Thank you!

  • polyana
6 years ago

DUDE SO DID YOU FIND HER AGAIN??? OMG

  • Your lovable gamer
5 years ago

This is touching... i hope you find her again

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