I’m getting everything wrong, I know. Why do I bother with it if that‘s not for me? I feel Like shit right now. I swear I caught you glancing at me during warm up session before the training. I swear I caught you looking away. Oh no, it’s all in my head... I’m seeing things? Why I just don’t ignore it? And I talked to your friend, I didn’t mention you, just updated my status about exchanging glances and such. He says it’s okay, there’s nothing wrong. And to make things worse, I mentioned how people comment of such thing, according to most people in our town, if someone looks for a long time... he or she wants you.

I just want to forget it. I don’t want to think of it. I don’t want to think of you. I don’t want to remember this. It’s an obvious heartbreak route. You wasn’t looking at me, at all. You wanted to look at somebody else and I wasn’t helping at all, only blocking your sight. I didn’t enter your line of sight on purpose, I even moved out of the way.

I don’t want to plant a seed knowing that it won’t sprout into Something. You can even greet me when you see me in the streets, ask if there will be training, if I’ll attend and such. I don’t want to fall for this bad route, I don’t want a disillusion, I don’t want to have the balls and confront you, it won’t end well, right?

Sometimes I wish I never paid attention to this, why does it hurt now? There’s no reason to feel bad and cry. Why does it Hurt? It is because I care? And why do I care? Its supposed to be nothing.