you are all of the things i've ever wanted and it just hit me like a train this week.

you make me laugh. and i make you laugh. and you actually like to listen to me laugh.

you care about the things i care about. but not just on the surface. like our deepest passions are the same.

you are going to be a really good dad. and a really good husband to whoever you end up with.

you're excited about your career and you light up with the light of endless possibility when you talk about the future.

you are kind and you see me. you're gentle and you're wise.

you are a firecracker.

—

but yet, if something ever happened between us, it would be hard.

because you care for people so deeply. i've never had someone truly care about me in the capacity i know you would.

i imaging your gentleness would scare me at first. and your emotions would freak me out. and your tenderness, admiration, and affection would embarrass me.

i would have to seriously fight the shame that i've struggled with for as long as i can remember.

then maybe, maybe you're also exactly what i need. despite my fear.

—

unfortunately, this is all in my head and this is just a phase. nothing will happen between us.