I went back and reread a bunch of my old letters tonight. It felt almost like I was looking at a time capsule. It's interesting how fast time passes and how much things change. It's interesting to see the old me and how I used to have different interests, different insecurities, different problems, even different ways of talking. 

I used to be so scared of not getting good grades, losing friends, being ugly, and being single forever. 

Now I've graduated. The toxic friends have long gone, and I'm left with friends I'm genuinely thankful for. I've gained confidence in my looks, and grades are a thing of the past. My concerns are now about my future - how to get a job, how to pass those stupid interviews, how to continue developing my career interests while working. What to do about my living situation soon, when to move in with my boyfriend. 

I feel really old, and I want to turn back time and go back to being naive and young. I want to be a fresh-faced freshman in college again, with high hopes and dreams and a tendency to love cheesy words. 

My future seemed so bright then. Now it feels dark. Like a black wall. I'm terrified.

I hope that in a few years, I'll be able to look back at this time with fondness. My time in college was quite the journey. 


2 comments add comment

  • Anon
9 months ago

I can totally relate to this! Not the boyfriend part..but everything you said about college. I just graduated class of 2018 and facing the job search is so damn hard. Plus the thoughts on moving out, and living on your own or in your case with someone is still kind of daunting yet thrilling too! Yet there is honestly so much time before you meet those steps. Just like being in a relationship, everything happens for the right time and for the right reason. :) from one post grad to another, you have got this!

  • Sayuri
9 months ago

Thanks Anon! I just graduated this past December (so I guess I'm class of 2018 too?) and there are so many big changes soon it's so scary. I really hope you're right that everything happens for the right reason.

Good luck on your job search! Hope we both get jobs soon :)

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