i haven't had a crush since i stopped dating my ex, near the end of my junior year of high school. now, i'm about to graduate and go to college. he cheated on me with another girl. for the most part, i think high school relationships are stupid, and definitely not a good idea, but it still affected me a lot. completely ruined my self-esteem. it was a big deal, especially because i had always considered myself a confident person. he left my school and moved to another state, but i still have to see the girl every day. i keep comparing myself to her–it's awful. she's good-looking, smart, and she's going to an ivy league school. everyone likes her. before this, i never compared myself to other girls. i liked myself, even though i wasn't popular with guys.

i'm slowly trying to restore the confidence i lost. senior year has been tough. partly because of my relationship with this girl, and partly because of many other things i had to deal with. i finally feel like i'm getting back on track, though. for a few weeks (or months?), i stopped talking to my friends. i became isolated. but now i'm talking to a lot of people, and i've made new friends. i'm scared, but also excited, because a new chapter of my life will begin in a few months.