So can you tell me what it was you wanted? Or did you never have any idea in the first place? Why would you keep making intense eye contact with me and being flirty when you're in a long term committed relationship? I wish I had more self esteem and wasn't so messed up emotionally that I didn't feel this way about you just because of the few crumbs of attention, kindness and possible signs of attraction you showed. I mean it's not just how you make me feel, it's that you are just so attractive to me on a physical, intellectual and emotional level and you have a similar sense of humour. I guess I was so flattered to even entertain that someone like you who I admire, respect and like so much could possibly be interested in someone like me. I really fucking miss you. But I think whatever it was you got over it.