Dear you,

I needed to let this out because this has been brewing in my mind for the past one week. You’ll never read this, but at least other strangers in this vast world of ours will – at least someone will know these feelings and thoughts. Longing, frustration, anger, and just a tinge of regret.  

There are so many things I want to share with you – so many things I could endlessly talk about with you. Something that I realize I don’t have with others. I don’t bare my soul to anyone else, at least not now.

The reality is, you decided to end our friendship and I’ll have to respect your decision.

In the past 24 hours, under the influence of alcohol, I’ve been weighing the option of begging, or possibly just texting you and ask if we can try this out again.

But it seems like my dignity is priced way more than our friendship – even more so, with the fact that I want to respect your decision, so I won’t proceed with these ideas and just settle with this e-letter.

I remember questioning why you didn’t want to rely or depend on people, and me being me, I was asking you to open yourself a little bit because there may be opportunities that you miss because of this habit. It’s ironic now how much I regret, in this very moment, for depending on you so much to be this person that I want you to be. It’s not even like I want to change you – it’s just that you were this comfort zone that I always had and maybe that’s me for you too. I am so angry that I managed to let this happen – this attachment - because now I understand why you put up the walls that you do – feeling the brunt and hurt from this accident, has been affecting me in ways that I didn’t think it could.

I don’t blame you, and I don’t blame me either. I just blame the time and conditions of that day, that moment, that led us to this situation.

Each person is different, special, and so are the moments shared. I may meet someone in the future whom I’ll get to experience the same stories as you do, but today, and since yesterday and the last few days. I miss you. This letter is sloppy, contradictive to the line of work that I do – but you’d probably laugh and realize, yeah, this is because of the lack of sleep or oxygen.

I miss you, but I hope you’re doing well. I really want you to be happy.

Best,

NK

3 comments add comment

  • anonymous lover
4 years ago

How do you know they wanted to end your friendship? What if it’s all in your head? What if they still want you? Never assume. Talk to them. It seems like you both would benefit from talking to each other

  • anonymous lover
4 years ago

Hmmm...you have the same initials as a person I like very much. It’s probably just a coincidence. It in case if it’s not. I like you. I like you to the point where you is all I can think of. And I am scared. Scared of being more hurt than I already am. I want to get to know you better. I want to be friends and whatever else we might be. I feel like we have this strong connection that I can’t describe. I feel you. I feel you before you even show up. I think it’s very special what we have and for that reason...can we start over? Can we try harder to get to know each other?

  • NK
4 years ago

He said goodbye, so I'm pretty sure he wanted it to end.

Unless you're a guy from England, it's unlikely I am who you think I am :)

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