To be honest, I'm not even sure if this is a letter to a crush or not. Maybe I just need you so bad because you're a little bit like the brother I always wanted.

I feel really fucking ridiculous for clinging to you the way I do. I feel helpless, and I hate it, but the truth is... I am helpless. I haven't seen you in four days, and already I miss you a shit ton.

You made me promise that no matter how depressing things got, I wouldn't drink myself into a coma while you were out. Well, things got depressing, but I'm a girl of my word. So I guess I can walk onto the pool deck with my head held high tomorrow morning, and maybe even throw my arms around you for the very first time. I guess I deserve that hug, 'cause I'm gonna be awake, alive, I'm gonna be sober.

I'm not an alcoholic, I don't drink that much, but we can both agree I tend to drink for the wrong reasons. Thank you for giving me the motivation to get up in the morning. Every morning.

And thank you for giving me the motivation to walk over to you tomorrow, sober.

&run

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