The past is in the past. I know I shouldn’t be writing about this, but I can’t help but think about how different my life would be if I wasn’t who I was when I met you. I was never contented with just seeing you. For the first time, I actually wanted to do something about my crush and be someone to you. I know, I know.... could’ve, would’ve, should’ve, but I didn’t. I put myself in the position to cross paths with you and see you because I wanted to greet you and say hi. I’d spend the night practicing saying hi, but, for whatever reason, a simple two letter word couldn’t come off my tongue when I saw you. I was left speechless and I hated it so much. Maybe my anxiety and lack of self confidence played a role? But even if I was able to say hi to you, I feel like my low self esteem would still ruin any chance with you. I don’t know... There’s a lot of uncertainty. I just know that if we had met at another time or if I wasn’t who I was then, things would’ve gone differently.