Men keep breaking my heart.

Or they hurt me in one way or another. So I have to end it before it gets worse.

but I break my own heart by being a coward about this other side of me I’ve ignored for so long. This side I know my closest friends see, but they allow me to lie to them all the fucking time. And it’s getting harder to lie. But I can’t...I just can’t...stop being a coward...my family has already been through so much...my dad has endured so much, and he’s a devout catholic and I just...if they knew, I don’t know how they’d react...

But if I never act on this side for me am I missing out on a lot of really wonderful people? am I missing out on the person that could be the one for me by ignoring this other side of me?