The worst thing that I've ever done was what I did to you. I can never make it up to you. I can never take it back. It's been so long that I'm sure it doesn't hurt anymore. And you probably don't think of me hardly ever these days. And I guess that's why I wrote all those horrible things. How I lied to you. I was already used to being left behind and forgotten, that I didn't even realize what I was doing would hurt you.

And you cried.

You would bawl your eyes out over me. Your broken voice and your whimper. I sit alone and it echoes off the walls in my head now.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," is literally all I can do and think. I deserved every horrible thing you gave back to me. But the worst thing you ever did was leave thinking that I never loved you.

I always have.

I loved your morning voice. I loved your hugs and kisses. I loved the moments you made me your own. I loved just sitting with you, watching TV, maybe a walk. And that Halloween. I loved how soft your skin was and how you would laugh at me. I loved how hard you tried and how much you cared. I loved the way you would cheer me up or make me laugh. I loved getting high with you and just being toxic. I loved how you would understand. I loved how you would always figure ways out to improve us. I loved the way you smelled and the times you touched my face. I loved that you loved me even when I couldn't love myself. I loved that you didn't forgive me and that you moved on.

I love that you're happy now.

3 comments add comment

  • Don’t tell us
3 months ago

Tell him/her.

  • skinnypsycho
2 months ago

things that i wish with all of my heart that my toxic ex would say to me right now.

  • tfuh.
2 months ago

you're not sorry. you just miss me stroking your ego.

add comment

Email is optional and never shown. Leave yours if you want email notifications on new comments for this letter.
Please read our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy before commenting.