The worst thing that I've ever done was what I did to you. I can never make it up to you. I can never take it back. It's been so long that I'm sure it doesn't hurt anymore. And you probably don't think of me hardly ever these days. And I guess that's why I wrote all those horrible things. How I lied to you. I was already used to being left behind and forgotten, that I didn't even realize what I was doing would hurt you.
And you cried.
You would bawl your eyes out over me. Your broken voice and your whimper. I sit alone and it echoes off the walls in my head now.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," is literally all I can do and think. I deserved every horrible thing you gave back to me. But the worst thing you ever did was leave thinking that I never loved you.
I always have.
I loved your morning voice. I loved your hugs and kisses. I loved the moments you made me your own. I loved just sitting with you, watching TV, maybe a walk. And that Halloween. I loved how soft your skin was and how you would laugh at me. I loved how hard you tried and how much you cared. I loved the way you would cheer me up or make me laugh. I loved getting high with you and just being toxic. I loved how you would understand. I loved how you would always figure ways out to improve us. I loved the way you smelled and the times you touched my face. I loved that you loved me even when I couldn't love myself. I loved that you didn't forgive me and that you moved on.
I love that you're happy now.