I don't know whether anyone has ever loved you, and it would be uncharitable of me to assume. I know that it's been years, at the very least. I know that you don't think anyone should or ever will.

It feels like a great injustice that it's me who does now.

You deserve someone to ease your woes, to hold you close, to show you how brilliant they think you are. Someone to stroke your hair and kiss you gently on the collarbone; to bump shoulders with you on the sofa while watching shit TV; to listen when things are terrible, to get angry along with you, and to bring you breakfast in bed on the days when you can't get out. There's a part of my heart that wants to be that someone, because you're one of the best people I've ever known.

but I'm already with the single best person I've ever known, and my whole heart wants all of those things for them, too.

You haven't asked me to be your someone, and I'd say no if you did. I can't ever tell you just how wonderful I think you are, and I just wish that someone else would feel it instead.

6 comments add comment

  • anonymous lover
2 years ago

It’s been a while since I have seen a letter so relatable on here. Thanks for sharing, this is beautifully written.

  • anonymous lover
2 years ago

This is so beautiful. I can only hope and pray someday someone will love me like this.

  • OP
2 years ago

It will happen - and I hope that when it does for you, it's someone who can let themselves feel it wholeheartedly.

  • anonymous lover
2 years ago

You’re in love with two people simultaneously or just the one person this letter is addressed to?

Not judging, just curious.

  • OP
2 years ago

I found this very hard to answer because I don't think I am in love with the person this letter is about. I *am* in love with the person I'm with - but this letter isn't about them, and sometimes I find this a helpful outlet for isolating how I feel about one person without the context or nuance.

The person this is about - I love her deeply as a friend, and I have a bit of a crush, and I think if I was single there would be potential for something really good there - but I'm not (and I'm very happy about that), so I'm mostly just frustrated for her sake that the one time someone does have these feelings for her and see the potential, it won't go anywhere and she'll never know about it. I hate that it's a situation where she keeps feeling unlovable and I can't say "actually..." without revealing something it would be stupid to reveal.

  • ^
2 years ago

Makes sense, OP.

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