Last night, I wrote everything out. Every detail, every perceived sign, every feeling.
I don’t love you. I have limerence. I am not obsessed with you, I am having obsessive thoughts. It is 100% an addiction and addictions can be broken. I’ve reduced you to fragments of a person and come up with this big idea that you are everything I need.
And that’s a lie.
I have everything I need. You are a distraction and while you’re certainly not my only distraction, you are my favorite. But you’re also the most time consuming and soul leeching of them all.
I don’t think I’m going to instantly stop thinking of you but I do know that I am going to be proactive in minimizing these thoughts. I’m no longer going to allow myself to succumb to them. I’m going to put more effort into myself and the relationships around me. Healthy relationships based on reality and the unconditional love of those who have seen me at my best, worst, and everything in between.