I'm sorry that you had to go through those kinds of conversations. That is truly emotional damage, and I get it. Being an overt extrovert, I can see you getting into mental and religious bouts. I have seen you get pulled into manufactured arguments because of it. I think I finally see now, that you may need that to thrive as a PERSON.

I'm more of a pacifist, meaning I don't like to argue. Not that I feel like I'm always right, but it has been a safe space. I actually got into an argument once where I said something super hurtful, and didn't remember saying it 5 minutes later. Someone else had to ask me why I would say that, and I didn't remember saying it all. Although, it was a lingering thought.

I guess that's probably why my anxiety is so crippling, because I supposedly let a lot of things go. Opposites attract I guess. I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm holding on to the idea of you. The ideal you, that cooks cuisine, and wants to share experiences and beliefs. I could be deluded and believe that you wanted to talk to me, or just look at the facts.

I think I might better off talking to her or someone new altogether. Trying to find peace and a safe space with someone just as broken as me, or worse isn't working for the long-term. I guess I just have to fake it until I make it. Such a ridiculous saying, but I'm starting to believe in its transcendence (above it all).

Self-righteous Sociopathic tendencies here I come...PERSON INITIATED!

You're So Vain, Carly Simon

https://youtu.be/mQZmCJUSC6g

- AnonIM

2 comments add comment

  • anonymous lover
one month ago

Maybe your person should move on to someone who makes them feel safe too. Chances are the argument is provoked and I can assure you that no person with a pinch of dignity will stick around for someone who is always threatening and putting another person over their head like "if you don't behave I'll date her instead". Do it then, you seem pretty bent on it, you don't even understand the person's actions don't matter because you already have that thought in your head. And tbh good for them if they do the same.

  • anonymous lover
one month ago

Also pretty sure they expected someone romantic and loyal but all they got was constant threats and not a safe place.

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