dear t,

i wish i could talk to you just one moretime. i hate how we left things. i really want to hate you for how you treated me but I can't because sadly, i still love you. i think i will always love you a little; no matter what happens. i wish you had told me what i did wrong. what i said to break your heart, because i would never intend todo that. you were my world, and honestly idk what to do without you. god, i wish you had done something horrible because then i could hate you. then I could move on knowing that i never want to be with you again. that’s probably how you feel about me. but instead, I’m left with leftover feelings and so much confusion. i fought so damn hard for you, for us, and you didn’t even try. so why do i still care about you? why do i still love you? i don’t want to. i know i deserve better and i know the way you treated me is not what i deserve either, but i really wanted it to be you. i still want it to be you, but i doubt you feel that way. so why am i the one who’s still left crying every night? why am i the one left missing you and wanting you back? you broke my heart without an explanation and i want to move on and say im better off without you but I can’t even believe myself if i were to say that. you were my person, my comfort, my joy, the love of my life. how was anyone else supposed to compare to you? i know that i’m young and our love was fleeting and that in five years from now i’ll probably be laughing over this, but you felt like my endgame. you indeed were perfect for me loser, but maybe you weren’t what i needed in this new chapter of my life. maybe i need to be alone and learn to be ok with it before i can have another person by my side on my journey. i need to let you go. i really don’t want to, but you need to know what it feels like to lose me. right now isn’t our time, it’s just like they say, right person wrong time. but we have to grow and mature on our own before we can revisit what we once built, and if for some reason that day never comes, i’m forever thankful for the memories we shared. i will always love you tear bear. 

with love,

s