It's been 24 hrs since the last time we talked.

You told me that when I turned eighteen, I could come to the States and live with you. And eventually marry you. And I agreed, because I loved you. I guess.

We had a plan. A schedule to keep in touch despite my strict parents. A promise to be together the day I become an adult. And we also had some other conversations. About how you would come to secretly hang out with me while I was in the States for spring break. About how we could hide the truth from the world.

You said that you would pretend that you were younger. You told me that you'd wait for me till I come of age.

I sent hearts to you. I smiled and blushed every time you texted me. I didn't think it was wrong till I thought about something.

If someone ever found out, your life, your career, everything you cared for would be destroyed. And I didn't want to see that.

I also didn't want to see the disappointed expression on my parents' face, after finding out that their eldest daughter has been talking to a man nine years her senior. It was wrong and illegal, and in the eyes of the law, I am a child, and you are an adult.

So I made the choice to cut you off. Abruptly, because I hate goodbyes. I hope one day you'll find a girl who you don't have to wait for. A girl who you can parade around with shady looks from acquaintances.

Most people would say that you played with a mind. That you made a fourteen year old girl lose her wits over you. But I don't think that's the case. i think i truly loved you for that short period of time.

It's not I don't love you, it's that I can't love you.

You think that no one would ever find out, but I know that all lies are bound to have holes. Even if we made it till I turn of age, how are we supposed to face everyone? With the fake story you suggested?

Another part of me hopes that you never loved me. If you didn't, this would be easier.

1 comment add comment

  • anonymous lover
8 months ago

sounds like a tough situation. wishing you all the best as you face it - you got this!

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