I just want to know how you act like you never kissed me so easily because I can't get you out of my mind. Every night, I sit in my room and I think about you, I think about how you kissed me in this room, how you looked at me in this room, how we cuddled in this room. I first saw you 4 years ago when we were young and naive. 4 years ago, you choose to leave my life and I wrote many poems about you. I discovered these poems again 2 days ago and I was crushed by them. I wrote something like this;

If you want to come one day

I don't know whether I can accept you or not

If you want to leave again

I don't know whether I can let go of you or not

If you come one day

I forget and love you again

If you leave me again one day

I will cry and kill you in my mind

Whenever I read these lines, I cry. Because I let you join my life again so easily and you just left me again. Now all we do is send reels to each other. I can't do this anymore, I miss you so much. You mean so much to me and I just can't get you out of my head. I am tired of looking at the live versions of our photos and finding little details I didn't notice before. In some photos, I can't exceed the way you looked at me. I wish I could see our future because if you are not happy with me I can't force you but I see the way you looked at me or touch me. We were more than just friends and you cannot accept this. I accept this too we can be just friends, I can be whatever you want but I want you in my life. I really miss you I don't care about our label, I just wanna watch Star Wars with you every night again. I just want your presence in my life not in a subtle way, I want to feel your presence in every part of my life. Damn, I love you.

-E