Having to pretend day in and day out that I'm perfectly fine and happy is wearing on me. I am in love with someone in secret that I can never have and who doesn't love me back. Hell, I haven't had any contact with her in so very long but she's in my thoughts when I'm awake and she is sometimes in my dreams. I'm depressed, anxious, feeling like a failure in my career, have so few friends and feel like an outsider with my peers. I can't open up to my loved ones about any of this. Either they don't understand, don't seem to care or both. Some have made fun of me, some have judged harshly and some just tell me that absolutely worthless advice of "just cheer up, you're being melodramatic." What am I supposed to do when there's no one to turn to for help? So I suffer in silence, put on a smiling face and hide once in awhile to let the tears flow.