The other night I had a dream fucking weird: I was with a girl and we were touching each other

I don't like anyone since many months ago

It's weird but it's cool

No more instagram for me because privacy is love, privacy is life

You have a girlfriend and I have to respect that but damn, we would be so good together.

ONE.

“breathe me,”

cries the magician,

smoking a cigarette.

his lips on my lips

his hands on my hips

his forked tongue, my dragon lungs 

blaze

with the fire he left in me.

“am i alive?” i ask

but the sun does not answer to the moon that shines because of it

nor does victor to his MONSTER

clay to the fingers that command it

sculpting scars from the impetuous

bruises from my ignorance

only a god knows how to save me

and cure me with a fist

but HE —

is michaelangelo sublime

pygmalion and red wine

“breathe me,” one more time

until my chest rises with his breath

eyes rolling into my head and staying open

open.

“this city is a jail yard.

is my name still locked inside?

does the beat of my heart still

pulse

through the streets

like the current of an electric fence?

do watchtowers lean

in to listen to the echoes of my voice?

when i ask if i’m alive, that is

i mean to say,

am i power.

will the skyline bend

emperors descend

for me as they do for you?”

the magician only laughs

and conjures in two hands

everything i need

but don’t yet understand

pokerchips for pentacles 

a bottle for a cup

switchblades for swords

a pen for a wand.

if one thing is the same

since i saw the city last

it’s that i don’t know what love is

but i do know what’s not.

his altar-ed mind.

this sordid shrine.

his hollow inside.

idol hands do my lover‘s work.

and the sidewalk cracks under the magician’s feet.

am i there too?

(i think i liked it better with my eyes closed.)

Screw it. I probably have heart disease anyway.

You make me laugh. Can you stay?

This man has shown me over and over that he knows exactly how to love every part of my being.

All there’s left for him to do now is to let me hear it from his mouth. Form the words, send them to my ears on that voice of his, and give me that last bit of comfort in knowing exactly how he feels.

i will always love you.

i never knew my first love would be with a woman, but i didn’t fall for you because of your gender,

i fell in love with your being; your soul.

even now, i wouldn’t change a thing.

-here.

Thomas,

I’m fighting myself to not have too much hope. Because I want you too much.