Being a hopeless romantic feels like a curse in this day and age

I’ve vowed to give you responses less than 5 words from now on. That’s all you deserve.

Commence cold shoulder.

McKinzie S

I hope you are doing well. and I hope you find someone who will write you like you write about them.

you are truly an incredible person.

I do care about you. You did and still do matter. If only you knew how much it bothers me that in recent times I haven't seen you look happy or even smile. Just know that you mattered to me, you presence had me smiling all day. I miss our connection...

I miss you M

I know I'm a great person. I think you have good qualities.

I wish we had spent time together but you seemed to have the wrong type of people around you. I couldn't get closer. I genuinely cared though. I can overlook mistakes because people are human and flawed. I can't overlook intentional deception or dangerous manipulation. I'm sure you'll be fine in your group.

Making people laugh isn't truly all you ever wanted to do, but that's for you to figure out.

Fuck your witholding narcissist bullshit. Again. 

I don't love you, I never have. I love the image of you I built around your lying and manipulation. I have been gullible and naive and too trusting. I take responsibility for this and the negative impact that has had on my life. You are toxic. I need to leave this situation.

I have learnt so much in my time studying over the past year though. Your behaviours and my responses have been helpful to observe and understand through therapy and my other learning. I only recently realised the extent of narcissistic/enabling codependent behaviours in family. I am going to keep learning and develop ways to become stronger, have better boundaries, to understand what I want and need, and act when things aren't acceptable for me.

I gave you the benefit of the doubt too many times. I succumbed to the fantasy. But I have no idea who you are in reality, I don't even think you know. I don't think you can be known. You seem like a fundamentally empty person. But you are someone who is highly interpersonally exploitative. You need to be managed and kept at a distance. 

I hope to see you again, and soon I hope.

in the crowd, around the gates - where our paths usually crossed everyday.

if you really wanted to spend time with someone alone, you have to tell them y'know.. have the courage to let them know. people don't always think or assume things the same way as you do and are living under different circumstances.

it's easier said than done but it might work out..

now, if you already told them and they simply didn't want to, then i guess there's nothing we can do about it.

i dont need you to be happy. i dont want those nonsensical fantasies where we'll only be happy together.

ill find my happiness on my own. ill be happy and i wont need anyone to fill that nonexistent void.