Everyone that knows the situation has told me I’d be really foolish to go back when there are so many other options to grow and flourish, elsewhere.

We’re standing in my kitchen,

I keep asking you what you want to drink, and you keep insisting that it doesn’t matter, you’ll drink anything I get you

I try and explain that it matters a little, that I want you to pick something so I know you’ll be happy with it

And you come over to me, and you kiss me. And I forget all about trying to figure out what to get for you.

You pull away, “so, it doesn’t matter.” I have to think about it for a second before I remember what you’re talking about.

there are two kinds of light

one is when you’re under limerence, an illusion of a bright light, like a moth attracted to the candlelight and ended up hurting itself.

and then there’s the other one

the light that is true;

pure and warm like the morning sunlight;

clear as the moonlight.

you were the second one.




I'm fucking mad. Actually, I'm offending myself by being with you!

Last time I tried to say goodbye, I said it directly to you but then you hung on... this time, I am saying goodbye for good here. Since you stopped writing first, I'm not writing back. I'm going back to the time before we met, before we fell in love, before you let me down, and before I got hurt. I'm disappointed with the way it all turned out, especially since I believed I would spend the rest of my life with you at one point; but I can't say I'm sorry to let you go now. The man I knew and loved isn't the man you are showing me now. You feel like a stranger and I can't keep waiting for someone who isn't being honest with me or even with themselves. I always said I probably wouldn't date again if we didn't work out, but I think I owe it to myself to keep an open mind. I may not rush out and find someone, but if someone finds me, I'm going to give it my best shot. I deserve to be treated with love for once. I'm not going to settle for you any more

Anyone want to be my Valentine?

You begged me not to leave you. Then one day, you left me.

It was a really good dream until I woke up and realized it wasnt real... i wish it was a night that I'd forget my dream when I woke up bc it hurts more since I remember

You lied to me a lot of times. You cheated on me several times. You've been using me. I don't know what is it about you, but fuck, it's always you. I only want you and nobody else. I hate the way that I love you. But in 2 months you already found someone new. All your promises were bullshit. You really got me big time.

To Pablo, You were the first cat I fell in love with.

Ever since I saw you 4 years ago on that bench in DLSU, I knew you were a very special cat. You were fat and gray, and you slept all the time but woke up any moment a random stranger sat next to you to give you a cuddle. I would pass by your bench consistently even if I was late for class just to get a glimpse of you. It was then that I knew, I had to adopt you.

Within minutes of bringing you home, you found a safe hiding spot under a table and stayed there for hours. At first, you were very aggressive. Within days, you staged a dedicated campaign of terror against Jolli, my other cat. But you were never ever aggressive towards humans. You were the sweetest boy, you never scratched or bit me on purpose no matter how many times I may have annoyed you with my affections. You loved people and relished their company. Every time I came home from school or work you'd be by the door with Jolli, meowing in harmony. You never meowed in school, hearing you for the first time actually amused me because you only did so whenever you saw me or smelt food. You also attacked any chicken meat that dared invade your sovereign circle. You enjoyed sitting on laps, but mostly laying on our slippers. We made it a habit to check the floor every time because of accidentally stepping on you on several occasions. Now our slippers look so empty without you here. I never thought I'd be saying goodbye to you this early in the year. I kept telling you, "Please make it until 2020, please greet the new year with me". And you did. You fought long and hard to be with me, Pablo. When you got discharged from the hospital after being confined for more than a week, you perked up the second you entered the door. You knew you were home. It almost seemed like everything was going to be okay because you were such a strong boy. But now, you deserve to rest.

I’ll miss coming home to a house without you, Pablo. I’ll miss your body weighing heavily on my chest. I'll miss your loud meowing every time we had delicious food on the table. I'll miss your semi-permanent "blep" face. I’ll miss waking up to you by the door of my room, knowing you were there all night, purposefully.

You had a duty in life to love. Somehow, you knew that.

I knew it too. It was always in your eyes, Pablo. Even in your final look for that distant, safe spot. If heaven exists and pets have souls, I hope to see you there again someday.