Here I am with this amazing new boyfriend and yet my heart still aches for you.
I had a nightmare about you again last night.....
I saw how it was a dark night and it was raining outside. You were walking to your car and these two guys tried to do many horrible things to you. They sneaked up behind you tried to rape you. Your screams for help... God I can still hear them.
I saw what happened and I immediately ran to help you. The anger and rage I had inside of me was unbelievable. One of the attackers pulled out a knife and tried to stab me and they did get a couple of cuts in my arms and my chest.
I killed one of them by snapping their neck as they choked you, and the other one who punched you... God..... I repeatedly punched his face until it wasn’t recognized anymore. No matter how much you told me to stop... I just kept going and going.
I never felt that much anger and rage in my life before. After I was done... I saw their blood on my hands. I saw your horrific reaction... and you said to me... “why did you do this?”
I replied by saying.. “No one will ever harm you again... no one.”
I then hugged you so tight... tighter than ever before. I felt your shiver but than calm down as I had my arms around you. The raindrops hit us... and I remember you touching my wounds one of attackers gave me from the knife. You were immensely worried about me and I saw that in your eyes and said, “it’s nothing... as long as your don’t have any of these cuts and bruises... that’s all that matters.”
I woke up feeling so much anger, rage and worry. I know it was just a nightmare but God... the horrific sounds of you just screaming and seeing how those guys just attempted to rape you just fucks with me. It broke my heart tenfold.
I still think what I did to those guys wasn’t enough. They deserved more fucking pain. I know it was just a dream... but man.... I never felt that much hatred and anger towards anyone.
The Chem Prince
I have a horrific and controversial nightmare I’d like to share with all of you... but I’m afraid I may trigger some ppl
I saw you in the hallway walking to your next class. I didn’t say anything or even wave. I don’t have enough courage to talk to you. I can’t wait for the weekend when we hang out. Even though it‘s not about me, it’s about my brother. I want to tell you how I feel about you and how much I want to be with you. But I know that you and I will most likely never be in a relationship.
After years of being rejected by multiple guys I fell for and always making dark jokes about the shitty stuff that happens to me, I realised I had a talent for just that.
So, after the last rejection this week, I've decided to embark on an illustration project on Instagram called The Depressive Guru.
I think this is what Carrie Fisher meant when she said "take your broken heart, turn into art". You can take your sorrows and your pain and transform them into something that will make someone smile or laugh. And for now, that's enough.
It's hard falling for an introverted guy. So, much, waiting.
- Extroverted girl :)
From the first time I saw you, I knew that I would never be able to get you out of my head. It all started at the college fair. I saw you, but lacked the courage to go up and talk to you. And when I talked to you for the first time I knew it was going to be hard to hide my feelings. I know that you have a girlfrien, but I’m not going to give up hope that I can eventually date you