Dear Universe,

Thank you (:


{ S }

Lately i had this weird joke to myself:

Why there're only wordless emotions that left. Because *drum roll*

it hidden in a plain-anon site.

See hidden in plain sight and hidden in a plain anon site. Right? Right? Relatable to me in so many ways.

Seriously guys I hate myself for doing this to myself.

I miss the idea of crushes when you can just smile madly all by yourself but then when I look at my undergarment all I could said to myself was "this is not something that could discharge and charge."

How to not love anymore?

I think that phone call just made my entire day. I'm so grateful for her. No matter how many times I push, she's still here for me. I didn't even know i was capable of being on the phone for that long and i didnt even want to hang up. I'm just so lucky to have her in my life. She is honestly an angel. She still checks up on me even after the phone call.. what did i do to deserve to be treated like someone actually cares about me? I don't think i can ever be as open as I am to anyone except her. I can honestly be naked easily (which is actually a bad thing) but still.. being emotionally open to someone..mind, spirit and soul.. no secrets, no lies.. I'm probably just this open to my bestfriends because i've known them since grd.1 and her. Ct. She's truly rare. She's pure at heart, she doesn't judge, she's ambitious, she's golden. Whoever catches her eyes is going to be so lucky.

-beginwithasmilee

If only you felt the same way..

You are home, hope, and heart.

Dear (former) best friend,

I'm not even pissed at you. This time, I'm not angry, I no longer have the urge to scream and to throw things.

I'm just so disappointed, I think I'm done. You know I love you and I want all the best for you, but all you're doing is taking advantage of the people who are trying to be there for you.

And don't think about me, think about your mother and your grandmother. Your mother would tear the heart out of her chest to help you if she could - you haven't heard her cry, but I have. And your grandmother, well, she doesn't have many years left.

Even your father - even though he never tells you, he loves you more than himself.

Is it really worth giving up on your family and your friends for an abusive relationship (understatement - she forbid you to talk to ABSOLUTELY anyone but her - including your own family, hit you, trashed your place, hacked your social media, treated you like garbage and put you down with every chance) that only ever breaks you? We were all here, but you didn't hesitate to throw us away as soon as you saw a chance to get back to the misery you literally begged us to pull you out of. Again.

And that girl has been in love with you ever since she laid eyes on you - it wasn't fair to lead her on then leave her like she was nothing.

I get that you're hurting and that this is the hardest thing you've ever had to do, we all understand. And we're trying our best to be supportive, but enough is enough. Your pain doesn't even begin to justify or give you the right to use the people that love you to make you feel better when she leaves, then completely forget about them when she comes back.

I'm sorry, dear. I really am.

Best wishes,

Your (former) best friend

Few day ago, I saw a receipt with a guy's name and number in my laundry. I looked at it twice and it wasn't mine for sure. However, I saved that receipt and took it home. I asked my dad whether it was his and he claimed it wasn't. I told him, "then it was probably someone else's. Someone who used that dryer before we did." My dad threw away the receipt and was suspicious about this whole situation. I don't think he took it seriously. He'd probably let it go.


After few minutes, I realized that guy had probably left his number for me. Honestly, I knew this from the beginning and didn't wanted to do anything about it. It is completely inappropriate to me, and I'm not about that life.


A Woman

I wish the summer was over so I could see you again.