Dear BFF,

You have no clue that I am in deeply love with you. Thank God for that.

....I value you so much.....if something ever happened to you I would be beyond devastated.

Please be safe.

Who misses me?

Who likes me?

Who loves me?

Who wishes they had another chance with me?

Who sees me as the woman of his dreams?

Who sees himself spending the rest of his life with me?

Who wants to get to really know me?

It's silent

No one answers

Because there is no one

You know it to your core when you find the person for you. Even if you are both equally stubborn, you still know. And in case you forget, or try to forget, the Universe will constantly send you reminders

~R~

حاجة بضحك انو انت ما بتعرف قد ايش انا بحبك و عمق مشاعري اتجاهك و بحاول اخبئ كل ذا لمن اشوفك

عن جد صدق شر البلية ما يضحك

-و لنا في الخيال حياة

Oops, wrong impression. My bad.

I lifted your chin up to look me in the eyes and pleaded, "Please, baby. This is the most precious possession that I own, and it was a gift from someone who loves me with everything they have. It means so so much to me, so I ask that you keep it in this safe and do everything to protect it for me."

You thought it was beautiful, and I agree. But you opened up the drawer of the safe and lifted your eyebrow at me, testing me to see how far you could go. You took it out of the safe and you didn't even care. You tossed it up and down in the air, and treated it with such flippancy.

I think that when I meet a man who is right, and good, and full of gentleness, I won't have to worry. I will trust them to treat it with love, because they love me. They will protect it with me. They will know its worth and its value and what it means to me.

Dear Future Baby,

Merry belated Christmas and happy 2020 to you! I am writing your annual Christmas letter late this year because I've been busy having fun. It has been such a contrast compared to last year, which was arguably the darkest period of my life to date. It felt so good to have a carefree Christmas again, playing dumb games with my cousins, drinking and thinking that these are the moments that I want to remember forever. I wish that you were there.

I always have thought that when or if I fell in love with a man that I saw being in my future, I would want him to be here for this, as a way to fit in my past as well. But you weren't here, and I very strongly suspect that this was the last time my family will gather here at this home for Christmas. Next year, and all future years, the traditions will be talked about as memories from the past because we are not in this home. I have no idea how things will change, but they will undoubtedly be different.

I wanted so badly to bring you here for this. Baby, I'm filled with sadness that I didn't meet you soon enough to share this with you. But I'm sure that God's timing will be good, and all will be well. I do wish you could have witnessed this beside me though. It's okay.

Baby, I'm simply burning to share stories with you. I'm aching to have you here with me, to watch you laugh and joke with my family. Anyways, just know that I'm thinking of you. I'm working to make myself a better woman, both for myself and for you. I know that I am not easy to develop feelings for...I'm guarded and selective and full of swirling emotions. But I promise that I am capable of so much love, so much love for you.

Love,

Your future baby

To the Desi guy driving Honda Pilot,

I can't stop thinking about you.

I hope we talk soon!

****

I wish I can make men fall in love me with by passionately looking into their eyes but there‘s nothing sexy or alluring about brown eyes. 💩👁

I've been told I suck at taking hints, which is true. Sometimes even the details of the shortest conversation I will forget within a few minutes. Blah.