You: *exists*
Me: *gay asf*
You: *turns out to also be gay*
Me: =))))
- "Band-Aid Buttons"
I wrote you a letter while you were at basic asking you not to marry her and confessing my feelings but I never sent it. It just sat there until it was too late. I felt so selfish even writing the letter, and I could never bring myself to put it in the mail.
I'm so disappointed in myself. And now everyone thinks I'm your girlfriend or something. This is dumb. I'm dumb. You're dumb. Your mom is dumb. Leave me alone.
All you're doing is texting me and snapping me random shit between us hanging out. You're not calling. You don't miss hearing my voice. You're not trying to have consistent phone conversations where we get to know each other better. Even the texts and snaps you send are just more superficial, low effort bullshit and I eat it up like an idiot. I know better than this. This is not how grown men that are actually interested in a woman behave. And I'm over here losing my fucking mind when you don't send me some stupid fucking snap. This makes no sense. I shouldn't feel bad at all about distancing myself from you. There are waaaaaaaay too many men out there that are already ready and able and wanting to put actual effort in for me. And I'm not going to ask for it. If it doesn't come naturally, I don't want it. I just can't believe I'm being so stupid again. Actually, stupider. I got WAY more than this bullshit with the last one and that one was a train wreck. No way dude. No way. I'm going to occupy my mind and time with other things, recalibrate, detach, and keep it moving. I don't want none of this that you're offering because it's shallow as fuck. No more falling for people who have potential. We all have potential, it's what we actually do with it that matters. Piss off homie.
I know I didn't treat you very kindly, but I am so glad to still have you in my life. We've grown and changed, and there's so much to learn about each other now. I'd be so happy to listen to you ramble about anything and everything, you know, even if it were for hours straight.
For some reason, I find myself wanting to talk to you every minute of the day, even when we have nothing to talk about. I find myself wanting to show you everything I find beautiful or cool -- random stuffed animals, random decor, pretty rocks or shells I find along the beach, animals I've come across... everything. I'd hate to seem clingy, though, so I keep most of it to myself.
I really do consider you my best friend, by the way.
- 🚀