close your eyes for a moment. Imagine that you will never see them again, never speak to them again, never see their smile. Does it hurt? I still can’t believe and accept the fact that we really wont see each other
I guess I’ll never have the answers. You knew how I felt, and you knew the reasons I couldn’t approach you a different way.
I love my boyfriend but it is not the same thing I felt with you. Falling in love with him wasn't falling at all. It was slowly getting to know someone and step by step letting them in. It was building something together.
Falling in love with you was being pushed head first from a cliff. I guess this is why I still think of you so much. I don't feel many things, my brain is always running and my heart hardly ever catches up to speed, but I saw you and I felt things. I wish I could go back to when you still knew me.
Men keep breaking my heart.
Or they hurt me in one way or another. So I have to end it before it gets worse.
but I break my own heart by being a coward about this other side of me I’ve ignored for so long. This side I know my closest friends see, but they allow me to lie to them all the fucking time. And it’s getting harder to lie. But I can’t...I just can’t...stop being a coward...my family has already been through so much...my dad has endured so much, and he’s a devout catholic and I just...if they knew, I don’t know how they’d react...
But if I never act on this side for me am I missing out on a lot of really wonderful people? am I missing out on the person that could be the one for me by ignoring this other side of me?
I don't know why I always go look at his profile. It won't change the fact that there is no communication between us. He doesn't think of me. He doesn't care. I don't even exist in his thoughts nor does he know or care that I exist. So, why don't I just accept that.