Before they leave, they tell me I am a lovely person. They tell me anyone who keeps me will be very lucky. I am often told that I am a nice person and I deserve good things in life. But why do they always have to go?

How am I supposed to leave the door open for the next person if open doors meant easy access for them to leave too?

maybe it's because you told me you couldn't feel romantic feelings for anyone including me and the whole thing wasnt true 

then two weeks later you switched up and say you still loved me when id already started moving on

it's not about you trying to fix yourself - which was something i specially said i did not want because i didn't want to be with someone who felt they had to go out of their comfort zone for to make me happy and hates commitment (because that's like the whole point of a relationship i knew you wanted to try, but wed already tried before and i just didn't believe that it wouldn't you wouldn't back out again

it was about the fact you shut me down when i asked what we were (and took 5 days to respond to my text) then expected me to come back to you weeks later when you decided you wanted me back (not about the reason you did it for)

and i never held it against you i was simply scared you'd do it again because i trusted you wouldn't after you already broke up with me the year before so i was naturally weary of getting hurt

then i tried to move on - saying we could still be friends and specifically explaining the reasons why i was not wanting to try again - those being 

- i didn't want you to commit if you felt like it was something you were scared of, 

- it was ok you didn't like romantic stuff but i did and i said i didn't want you to have to change that for me and you be uncomfortable, 

- i didn't want you to feel pressured into anything, 

- i wanted you to genuinely take time out for yourself to figure it all out without having a relationship to commit to aswell

- and lastly in true honestly i was just scared of it happening again and needed some time to get past that i was never upset at you

so yeah maybe you didn't leave me that time - like you did the previous year, but it was still you who ended it (even if u tried to pick it up weeks later) and no matter what it, hurt when we'd been talking for a few months and i wasn't prepared to try again

but i wasn't upset at you then i was totally fine with it, disappointed yes. but glad with your honesty until you switched up two weeks later - that's what upset me but yet again i tried not to seem upset because i know you meant no harm and just asked to stay friends

“Cute black dress today”, he said

me: 🫠🫠🫠

I think I am starting to like him. I should never feel this way. He’s leaving the country soon. Help!

I fancy you

I'm trying to forget him. I'm keeping myself busy to easily move on. Yet here I am, missing him.

If only he knew

I will miss our evening run in Greenway. Come back soon.

tell me you love me

come back, come back and haunt me

Every dream I have about you is always a pleasant one. Even though we don’t speak to one another, I’m glad you always make me feel happy in my dreams.

You meant more to me than I ever could have imagined.

The powerful hold you still have over me is more dominant than I will ever admit.

You can't talk me out of anything because I don't even want to care about you.

It's still there and I fucking failed. Please don't add comments or advice.

I fucking failed romantically and career wise. It wasn't from lack of planning or execution. I just fucking failed.

I miss saying I love you, it felt so good