just found out for the hundredth time that a heartbreak or a crush that doesn't work out does not mean hot girl breakup vibes, but an eating disorder

recklessrecklessreckless

falling in love is blissful ignorance and hope on the way up. on the way down, it’s lonely acceptance.

it feels reckless to fall in love, but it’s always reckless to be that vulnerable

im wishing for the hope in me to die, because I know I’m not waiting for anything

maybe one day I can look you in the eye without longing

I’m still in contact with my ex. My ex is a girl. I’m a girl. We were together for about 5 years.

I am falling for a guy. I really like him. So much.

I feel like I was in a trance when I was with my ex.

Like she made me addicted & obsessed with her.

I know I wouldn’t date another girl again. I know I’m not into girls. I don’t know how and why this happened.

How do I explain all of this to someone?

Did you give up?

Did it get easier?

Did all those things you wanted come together in the end?

Was I the one?

Was I even there?

i could say the same to you...

Storm clouds may gather

And stars may collide

But I love you

Until the end of time

J,

Sometimes I wish I could read your mind. I want to know how you feel.

- T

I saw all of the good in her, unfortunately inconsistent and wishy washy will piss me off eventually.

She's not a massive player or non-committal. That doesn't work for her either.

But is she proud? Yes. Does she like to tell herself sometimes that maybe someone will love her enough to never doubt what they see in her? Yes, that too.

All she can do is say sorry for sometimes being too proud to admit she really wants you to love her and see her good parts. And also apologize for using pretending not to care about what people think as a defense mechanism sometimes.