To the first love of my life,

It's been 6 months since you passed away and broke my heart. And not a day goes by that I don't think of you. Even till now the loss still hurts. A lot. I keep asking if you can give me a sign to let me know if you loved me too. I did have a dream about us one night in which you made it very clear how you felt, but I think that was more my wishful thinking.

I keep thinking about that night in May, our legs touching under the table while we were talking with other people at your party. I can only hope that the message I was sending, although subtle, told you how I felt...and that you were responding in kind. I still am kicking myself over not taking a chance since then, when we found out our marriages ended, to ask you out and seeing where it would take us.

But sometimes things in life don't happen. Regardless, I was (and still am) so thankful that we always remained good friends. I will never forget how we were at each other's parties and weddings, and you even came to that one cultural festival too. I was always excited to see you, and the smile and happiness in your eyes said the same.

This is why your sudden death kills me. You're not around to share good news with anymore, no more invites, and sadly, you won't be at my wedding. I was looking forward to us doing a duet at the reception. I know you would have loved that idea. You're the only one I know who loves music as much as I do, and we would have had a blast working on that together.

I know that people come and go, but I wasn't ready to let you go as of yet. I still needed you. You went too soon. You would have been 62 this Saturday.

Happy birthday, mi amore. I miss you more than you know. You still have a piece of my heart and soul.

i never thought eye contact could set my soul in such fire until you looked deep into my eyes as i died inside.

There is always that girl, or person in your life that got away, and you think about them at random periods throughout the week, month, year, and life. They were very extraordinary and amazing and made you feel great things. Almost as if they were not real. They seemed like, the one. But at the end, you realize they left your life and were not, the one. But oh, how you wished they were, and you just cant seem to forget them. They are simply not forgettable. Anyone else has experienced that?


a year ago, i was heartbroken over you. completely shattered, thinking that there was no way that i'd ever get over you.

today, i talked to you at dinner for three hours, and not even a hint of awkwardness or a twinge of feelings appeared.

things get better.

I told myself I was over you but I still see you in the rain

i see you in every smile of every person

i see you in the sky

in the moon

so if i'm so over you


are you



The sunlight shone through my bedroom window, causing me to wake up. I opened my eyes, and I looked to my left to see you sleeping next to me. It wasn't long until you opened your eyes and we made eye contact.

"Good morning," I whispered.

And for the first time, I heard you whisper back what you've always been texting me.

"Good morning beautiful."

Those three words were enough to make me tear up with happiness.

you’re still as wonderful as i remember

I've written tons of letters throughout the years. They were always about boys who I desperately wanted but never needed. I thought that if they wanted me back I would be okay - if I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't think about the part of me that was missing. But no matter how many letters I wrote and boys I pined after, the feeling that something was wrong never went away. For years I tried to ignore that feeling, but eventually grew tired of constantly lying both to myself and to the world. Today, for the first time ever, I wrote a letter about a girl, and nothing has ever felt more right.

dear reader, may the pain be replaced with peace.