Sometimes I still think about the first time I saw you. How you caught me off guard. It's a memory that just randomly pops up every once in a while. Kind of like replaying a scene in a movie. I try not to think about anything more than that. Anything beyond that. I'll never be able to make sense of it.

I feel so overwhelmed by you. I ache when we're apart, and I agonize when we're together. It's like I can't function when I'm around you, I act up and feel out of control. But when I'm not next to you, all I can think about is the next time I can be by your side. Sometimes I look over at you and you smile, and just like that it's over for me. I'm in too deep, and I think about you way more than I'd care to admit. Not sure where this is going, but god it feels electrifying

I guess we’ll just continue to pretend that we didn’t have this intense connection and disappear from each other’s lives…

My goodness, you are wonderful to be around. Your smile, your ambition, our knowing laughter make me feel so alive. The way you look at me - I could be anyone I want to be.

Every time i don’t see you for a while i get filled with fear and doubt. I start thinking I did something wrong or I was wrong and you don’t like me at all. Or that you’ll realize you don’t really like me as much as you thought.

But the moment we see each other it all washes away and that spark is there and stronger than ever. We can’t resist It. Thats how we got in this situation in the first place. we can’t even say goodbye to each other. We always have to stand there and say one more thing to stop the other person from walking away

I keep picturing that beautiful, soft look you had on your face as we talked. And the way you stared deep into my eyes with that soft smile on your lips as you listened to me. The way you barely stopped smiling or laughing the whole time we were together even though you had told me multiple times what A terrible day you were having and how much everyone was pissing you off. this feeling really snuck up on me.


This is difficult to describe and nothing I’d ever tell you, not the least of which because I barely know you and because it’s so intense, but right now, to me, you’re all that’s beautiful in this world. Everything else is bland and dull or pain or war. The fleeting moments where I see you are sublime glimpses into the meaning of life, and while inside this fire burns and I long for an us that never will be, on the outside I have to pretend that you’re just another woman, just some minor acquaintance. Your absence is heavy nothingness. I have to suppress my feelings for you. Keep them trapped. So there’s no outlet. No closure. I can’t be with you, I know that, but I can’t even move on, at least not now. But I’ll confess one day, when the time is right, when telling you what you inspire me - quiet strength, complete beauty, effortless grace - and what you mean to me won’t create the mess that it would now. I’ve written it already, and even though obviously I’m not looking forward to the point where our ways part, I ache to tell you, to stop pretending you’re not the most special person I’ve ever met, who from one moment to the next inexplicably, magically made me feel as never before, to stop pretending I don’t love you to the ends of the Earth because indeed crazily I do, and to be released and finally be free.

Deep chemistry, attraction, and admiration should last a lifetime. The realization that it almost never does, makes me want to vomit my soul out of my body. Why do people let that desire burn out?

Sometimes you just got to tell people, I love you and I'll love you forever, but I'm no longer interested in the level of life you have to offer me, and because of that I have to let you go. I'm not even asking you to change, I just need you to understand, that you can keep doing what you wanna do and how you wanna do it, you just can't do that with me. Sometimes you gotta love people from a distance.

I feel like we’re locked in an orbit around each other. Where the distance between us ebbs and flows. Where we experience these close, intimate moments as well as these painful, confusing distances. but I feel the orbit shrinking, contracting while we inch closer to an imminent collision that I can only imagine would be an explosion of bliss and leave a lot of wreckage in its wake. It’s dizzying and intoxicating.

I see the glances you shoot me while I’m talking to other people. You must see through all the pretenses i use to come see you. And i think we both have noticed the increased intimacy in our conversations; how we’ve been sharing more of ourselves, bit by bit, while still keeping our sarcastic jokes. When we’re talking it’s like no one else is there. I‘m pretty sure other people have noticed. In fact, I kind of expected you to tone it down and distance yourself. But i also had plans to do that. But talking to you is the happiest part of my week. I just can’t resist it. 

and I have a suspicion that you may feel the same.


you're the most beautiful person I've ever met.

i love the way you look at life, i love the way you analyze things, i love how you search for the best in everyone.

you're no sunshine, but yet you radiate comfort and humor. you're just... you.