To you, who once was:

Again and again, thank you for guiding me, thank you for holding my hand. I feel your presence, in the most beautiful ways. You're physically not here, but you're everywhere - in the colours and numbers and words that I encounter. Thank you. May you be well, always.

I wanted to say it all to you.

Not on here. Not even at once. I had a lifetime of collected reasons why I am irrevocably in love with you and I wanted to say it all.

I miss you. I miss us. I miss that feeling of belonging, of knowing there's someone out there who thinks of me fondly, of knowing I can think of your voice and my day will be better. I miss what we could have been. I miss the potential, the if-only.

I haven't felt that in such a long time.

I miss you so much even as I read your messages.

When you finish a message with a full stop instead of a smiley, I know it's not the you that you used to be.

I miss you. I miss us. I miss the possibility of what we could have been.

I miss you.

Do you miss me?

I told the moon about you. I told her how you make me feel warm and light. How our conversations last for hours without neither of us getting bored. She knows how many little moles and freckles you have on your face. She never says anything back, and I’m okay with that. Sometimes she’ll blow a gust of wind as a response and it’s during those times when I know I need to do something about you. I just wish you‘d talk to me like how I talk to the moon about you.

My heart

It feels like my chest can barely contain it

Like it doesn't belong to me anymore

It belongs to you

And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange

No gifts, no goods, no demonstrations of devotion

Nothing but knowing you love me too

Just your heart

In exchange for mine

Maybe one day you’ll look at me. The sun will be setting behind me, waves will be lapping at the shore. You’ll see the wind blow my hair and you’ll watch me smile as I turn to look at your face - lit ablaze by the sunset. Your heart will squeeze, and that’s the moment you realize you really love me. You step toward me and place a hand on my cheek, bringing your face close to mine. I don’t question it. For a moment we’re taking each other’s breaths before our lips touch. The sun sinks below the horizon, leaving us abruptly in a cold orangey darkness. We come up for air. You hold my hand as we walk down the beach, back toward home. “I love you,” you say, really meaning it for the first time. My heart squeezes now. “I love you, too.” I reply. 

Dear You,

Today's full moon reminds me that no matter where we are, we still gaze up at the same sky and wish on every star to be one step closer to being together. I made a playlist for us as a sweet reminder of all the music that reminds me of you. I hope you'll like it whenever I get to share it with you :')

There are days when you're in the back of my mind, and nights where I can't sleep unless I'm comforted by the thought of you by my side. Wherever you are, I hope you're safe and healthy... our journeys will lead us to each other and when life gets tough, that will always be the sliver of hope I hang on tightly to.

I am so immeasurably in love with you, I wonder if you can feel it permeate throughout the cosmos. If only you knew how much you mean to me. I promise to continue working on myself/my career, as well as prioritize my wellbeing (hopefully you do the same!) I can't wait to feel your warm embrace as we share a passionate kiss. Until then, I love you and believe in you so much. Forevermore.

Love, Me

Honestly i've liked you from the first day i saw you, getting up the courage to talk to you and get your contact was the bravest thing i've ever done but i cant bring myself to ask you to be mine. I'm not sure how you feel about me but honestly i am taken away with you. Your eyes. Your smile. Your brains. Just. everything. when you dont reply it crushes me because im scared you're talking to other people, because who wouldnt want you lets be honest? maybe one day i'll be brave enough to tell you how i feel straight out and see how you feel but until that day. In another life dummy.

I will never be able to tell you this. But the moment I saw you, I...felt something different. I felt the instant connection with you.

All these years, I really did like you. Maybe even more than “liked” you. But that is the end of it all, isnt it. I don’t even know if we ever see each other again. Even if we do, it won’t change anything

I hope you are happy

is it possible that we are compatible in every way humanly possible? I’m starting to think so...