have u ever been in a situation where u like someone so much but u choose to push them away because all you ever do is destroy everything around u and you wouldn’t want to hurt them of all people because they dont deserve it so u push them away abruptly in hopes that they just hate you because it’s way easier to move on with anger in mind rather than to love someone from afar? no?

I'm starting to wish that I never met you. Not because you're a bad person. You're great. You've done nothing wrong. It's because now I know you exist in this world. I think so very highly of you. I know how wonderful you are and how nice it was to know you for the short time I did. But now I have to live without you in my world. I only wish I had never met you so that I wouldn't know who I was missing out on.

I really don't want to say this but it's time. Time I start facing the truth. I need to stop writing these letters to you. You're never going to read them. Even if you did, it wouldn't make a difference. You're never going to love me back. It's just the way it is. It hurts but it's true. Writing to you over and over like this, confessing how much I wish I could have you, won't ever change a thing. It's only making me more and more lovesick for you and it's not healthy. I wish so badly I could see you one more time but that's a one in a million chance. Even if I did, would you even remember me? I didn't even get to say goodbye to you. I wanted to so much. I practiced over and over in my mind what I was going to say. You mean more to me than you will ever know. There was so much I wanted to tell you. It absolutely broke my heart to not see you that last day and it still stings just as badly now, if not more so. I'm still hurting. I still cry over you when no one's around. I don't understand why you weren't there. I probably never will. I never got to say all this to you, but I'll pretend here that I am doing so. Thank you for so very much for everything you did for me. You made a difference in my life that I'll never forget. I know you don't think you did much, but you really, really did. I will never forget you. I love you so much and I miss you. But I need to let you go. You'll always have a very special place in my heart. Always. I wish you knew that. Goodbye.

And if a thousand others love you…they will only love you a drop compared to my ocean of love for you…

You're no longer a part of my life. I just want to let you go now. I need to stop obsessing over you. I need to move on. I want to stop looking for you everywhere I go. It's unlikely I'll ever see you again. I'll always care about you but you'll never be mine. I want this pain to end. I want to feel normal again. We never even dated and you'll never know how I feel about you. So why am I letting these feelings control me? Why do I miss you so much that I get choked up? Why am I still crying over you?

yes, that is all. i have given in to being in love with you. it takes more energy to deny it than just to love you the way I do.

I still miss you. All the time. I wish every day that I could've said goodbye. Every woman who greets me in a friendly way makes me think of you. You are so sweet and cute. I never told you how much you really meant to me. I thought I had one more day. I waited too long. I'm torn between being glad I met you and longing for you so much that it hurts. We never could've been together but I can't stop thinking about it. I keep hoping I'll see you one more time, somehow. I hope you think about me sometimes.

If I could write a book about falling in love with you, the boy I can't have, the last line would be, it was written in the script of fate that I am but a minor character in your story of a happy ever after.

It's been a while, LTC. I don't have much to say (that's a first), especially since I'm breaking form. I'm in a much better place now, and I've found better outlets. I wanted to thank everyone for their encouragement every now and then. I've started submitting some things to see if they'll be published. We'll see if I really am a writer.

Love checking in on the old and new lingerers,

Vivant

I haven't seen you in so long and I have a chance to reach out to you. Should I take it? It might be the last time I can. If only it could be in person. I just want to tell you that I was glad to have known you, even for a little while. I want to wish you well. I promise to leave you alone after that if you want. For many reasons, I can't ever tell you EVERYthing that I feel about you, but I can at least tell you some of it. I can't tell you that I love you or how beautiful you are to me. I shouldn't be feeling this way about you. I never expected these feelings for you when we met. Now you're gone from me and life must go on. But I'm willing to let you go, as hard as this is, because I love you. But I also want to reach out to you one last time. What will happen if I try? What will you say? Will you say anything? Will you be angry or weirded out that I contacted you? *sigh* What do I do?