If only you knew about all the detours I did for a chance to catch just a glimpse of you.

I am eating chips and dip while scrolling through the LTC archives. I still can't fully accept how dumb and delusional I used to be but man those were some good days.

You’re the weirdest, most powerful, most unexpected thing that has ever happened to me. I was deeply in love with you. I might still be. And you probably don’t know.

the way she smiles, the way she laughs and looks around to see who else is laughing. the way when shes passionate about smth she talks so much about it. the way when she loves something she gives it her all and learns everything about it. the way she becomes attached to shows and films and characters and books and plays and songs. the way she makes playlists for me. the way she listens to bands i suggest even if she doesnt like the genre. the way i said a song reminded me of her and she put it in her playlist. the way my hoodie is her most worn item of clothing. the way she giggles when i call her ****a. the way we watch films she loves together and recites all the lines and tells me everything about every character. the way shes the stars and the moon. the way when she gets a lisp and giddy when shes sleepy. the way she talks to her dog. the way she sings and hums along to music.

the original list was a full A4 page i wrote a year and a half ago for her, its all still true but its all past tense now. there was so much more on the list, i took it out because it made it too specific.

youre like the kind of midnight rain you hear from inside when youre extremely warm and safe but even despite all the comfort you have at that moment you cant help but want to rush into the cold midnight rain because that kind of rain can be so rare to find

i have a playlist of songs that make me think of you. i wish there was a way for us, one in which i wouldn’t hurt you again but i know i would. i can’t help myself and i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i truly love you, you made me believe in soulmates but loving you also means that being without you is better. that way i can’t hurt you again

My love language is appreciation.

I find value in your doings.

I adore when you share your stories.

I want you to be heard, too.

And, seems like you're the only one who listens to me as well.

I think if you knew how deeply in love I was with you, it would scare the hell out of you. I think it would scare anyone…it scares ME! ….Fortunately you seem to be oblivious.

All that time you’re focusing on that person who used you, not only that but made you unhappy and judged you for being yourself... there’s a person waiting who accepts you, who wants to know you better, wants to make you happy because they love your wild smile and crazy attitude.

It may not make sense but that’s all I have to say