Maybe if I just accepted that I am gay sooner, that the reason I was drawn to those girls was not due to friendships and mere administration, then maybe I would be this way--afraid of feeling, uncomfortable with attraction. I feel like I'm being swallowed by her, you know? Like she's great big tidal wave that engulfs me every day but she's so far away, so out of reach.

God, her smile is like this a camera--you can't help but smile yourself when you see it. Her eyes are like pools of green that I would gladly drown in. It scares me how much I feel for her. 11:11 comes up and she instantly pops in my head, and I find myself wishing that it's real. That my supplications of a life--or even just a chance--with her would come true. It scares me so much because I'm feeling so much but the chances are so slim. Oh, dear heart, please calm yourself lest you want to break.

As cheesy as it sounds...if I thought you felt one ounce for me what I feel for you that would be it. I would risk everything for you.

I feel like the Universe gathered up all of the best molecules and put them together to make you. That is how I feel.

I think one of the reasons I check up on you so often is that I’m desperate for any part of you

I would accept the smallest pieces of you, if it made me feel even a little bit closer to you

I’m grateful for the smallest crumbs

That may be all I ever have.

I truly believe you were the right person with the wrong timing. I wonder if i should check up on you. I'm afraid of hurting you again, but the uncertainty is eating away at me.

In a parallel universe there exists a path the both of us share. I hope we're happy there.

So afraid of falling for someone again just to end up hurt and broken again. Always gotta pick up the pieces myself and act like I’m chill. Lie and say everything’s fine. But I crave love and affection so bad. It’s something I’ve never felt before.

i sincerely hoped your 'next time' meant tomorrow.

it's been a year and a half love.

i should have known your 'next time' meant 'never'.


if this makes it to front page, i'll take courage and message him first.

When I think about how much I want to take care of you and how I will never be able to, it feels like a torpedo going straight into chest. The only thing I can hope for is that whoever ends up with you will take care of you the way I wish I could.

please know that if you ever want to try again, and is willing to mend the snags in the tapestry of us with me, I will be here waiting for you.