Last night I felt you staring at me when you thought I wouldn't notice. I looked over a few moments later to see you smiling with a funny lil look on your face. When I asked what you were looking at, you just grinned and shook your head at me.

I wish you could look at me that way forever.

one.

the first thing i noticed about you was your smile. it pulled me in, and i was a fool for not resisting.

i guess you could say i loved your smile more than i loved you.


two.

we watched a thunderstorm from your porch, leaves and rain falling down, wind howling, thunder roaring.

you said the flashes of lightning were beautiful, and you watched them with your eyes closed.

but i couldn't bring myself to close my eyes, not even for a second.


i was too busy staring at you.


three.

we were standing on a bridge, watching the water run run run beneath us. fireflies danced in the air, playing a game of tag that i could only watch; never join.

your voice broke my thoughts. 'isn't it amazing how humans can link one piece of land to another with bridges like this one?'

i could only nod and wish someone would invent bridges to link people.

bridges that no one would ever knock down.


four.

'love is a lie,' you told me. it was winter, snow falling around us, and i reached for your hand in the cold only for you to pull away.

'love is a lie,' you repeated, 'just like everything else.'

but then, who's the liar?


five.

i was on your couch, half-asleep and saying nonsense things about the weather and how flowers are lonely and didn't that tree's leaves look reddish-purple? 

and you put your arm around me, and the sound of your breathing drowned out the television, and


six.

you were smiling.


seven.

i wrote my name on your wrist.

when you asked why, i just said, 'so you won't forget me.'

but it faded, of course, just like i will.


eight.

'you're beautiful,' you said, kissing the spaces between my fingers.

that's when i found out who the liar was.

you, you,


you.


nine.

you were gone for the weekend, visiting family members. i was on my bed, hopes and phone in hand.

'do you miss me?' i asked.

i won't try to say how much it hurt when you said 'no'.


ten.

i had a dream of you driving away in autumn wind, waving goodbye, and i could do nothing but stare and think this can't be happening.

and i woke up to find you gone. the only reminders i have of your existence are these photographs and a post-it note.

'goodbye' is all it says.


goodbye.

Him: Yeah then he- THE LEAVES ARE SO CRUNCHY

Me: what-

Him: COME JUMP ON THE LEAVES WITH ME

Me: I-

Him: I LOVE CRUNCHY LEAF SEASON

I’m in love with the cutest, most dorkiest idiot in the world aren’t I?

i can't believe you kissed me. twice

TWICE

So one day I walked into class and I had a whole lot of stickers and I asked the guy I like if he wanted some and he said yes. He then came super close to me and asked me to put a sticker on his cheek and I did. I was so nervous but I somehow remained calm. He then asked me to put more all over his face. I don’t know what this means but I touched his face and he let me.

I know if you wanted to see me, you would. It's been months. I wish I was over you.

this site makes me sad because I usually only log on when I’m feeling especially heartsick 

but I’m glad it’s been here for me when I need it

We called it off mutually. But I should’ve been entirely honest with you. I should have told you that I like you so much, but I have to figure things out right now. Instead, I acted as though I wasn’t all that into you afterall (or I feel like I came across that way) and I’m sorry. I still have a lot of feelings for you and I don’t know if you still like me, but either way, I just hope that the universe allows our journeys to cross again. Hopefully at a time when you and I are more sure of ourselves and our lives.

Last night we sat close to one another and talked for hours. I don't know how I feel, but I'd like to see where this goes

You’ve inspired me to write again, and if that’s the only thing you can give me, I’ll take it.