If you’re looking for me.
If you’re lookin’...
I hate when I see you because it's a constant reminder of how we will never be how we were before; it's like I never want to see you again so that I can move fully on, and yet at the same time, whenever I don't see you I miss you.
There's still so much I wish I had said to you, but it's all too little, too late. I need to try and just focus on my life how it is now without you being part of it anymore.
I'll always have love for you, but I can't go on like this. Whenever I see you, I get really happy but also feel so hurt because of everything that happened between us. I think it's really sad we will never be like how we were before. I miss you and yearn for you every single day, but you wouldn't know because I play it cool around you and try and act like nothing fazes me.
I miss you deeply,
My crush and I like each other...
But we also can’t stand each other...
Where do we go from there?
Renewed interest is a funny thing isn't it?
Kind of like a prank that's pulled to make you feel like the punchline of a joke.
I don’t understand how some people can get over love. I feel like when you truly love someone it never goes away. You just tuck it into some dark corner of your heart, out of respect for the fact they don’t love you.
but sometimes the box In the deep dark corner opens up, and I can’t help but wonder if you ever loved me, as much as I still love you.
The grass is always greener on the other side. Is that what this is? I'm gazing into someone else's yard wishing I were in it.
What the hell is wrong with me?
The grass under my feet is green and beautiful and smells like grass and feels like grass. It just seems like all the butterflies flew away, the birds stopped singing, the always-sunny has gone partly-cloudy.
Maybe I'm not looking hard enough, the butterflies are there. Maybe I just became used to that birdsong. Maybe I should look for shapes in the clouds.
I want to know what's over there, though. Sometimes it feels like I almost know. I can close my eyes and so vividly imagine what it would be like to be over there, instead.
Could it be better?
Is it wrong to even entertain the idea?
This yard needs tending to. I could never tend to another whilst doing so.
I still wonder what's over there, though.
We stand in the middle of infinity. Everything we are is a succession of one in a million chances. So many incredibly small chances happening one after another. If you step outside in the night, look up; you will see stories. groups of stars that have been given hundreds of names, tales of gods and kings, epics that borrow from each told before them.
If you look past the history and the poems, you will see something far more beautiful: You will see stars. Incomprehensibly large collections of gas that burn so hot, we will never touch them, so far away, that we will never reach them. Yet they exist, they light up the night sky giving this break in the dull darkness. How can something so foreign impact our lives so heavily?
Yet we wake up every morning, concerned about how we connect to each other. The 'someone' in your life who doesn't know you exist, the one who took your trust and broke it, the one who catches your eye every time you see them. Why concern yourself with something so small when everywhere you look, you are surrounded by something impossible.
I say this to you, don't concern yourself over that pit in your stomach when you just want to impress them, there is no reason to stress over something so small. You are surrounded by stories, mysteries and serendipity.
So when you feel useless... Look up.
Since you are the middle of infinity.