With the way we looked each other, there’s no way you haven’t thought about it. You know. I know. There’s something there.

I have been in love with you for so long, I don’t even know who I am anymore. I wish I had the courage to tell you. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever known.

I was drawn to you from the moment I met you.

Now it's been almost three years and I still can't find words that feel cathartic enough to satisfy the urge to write about you.

So I'll keep writing these blurbs, throwing things at the wall and hoping somethings sticks, and maybe one day my feelings for you won't leave me so restless.

You were loved from afar. You were loved in silence. You were loved in longing gazes and brief hello’s. You were loved in bright smiles and wide eyes. You were loved in the tips of my twitching fingers and nervously tapping tippy toes. You were loved in the moments I held my breath at the first glance of you and the long exhale when you turned away. You were loved in playlists and cryptic writings. You were loved in subliminals and subtle suggestions. You were loved in laughter that stopped tears and tears that stopped laughter. You were loved.

When I see you smile my organs turn into hot butter. I miss your smile.

I have so much sorrow and pain. I've suffered so much trauma and abuse and neglect. I need a humble man and a kind man to show me love again. I need a man who wants to see me smile. A man who will make love to me and spoil me with joy, tenderness and compassion. In return I will spoil him rotten with attention and warmth.

K,

I didn't include your entire name in fear you may someday stumble across this. I am cemented between a double edge sword of dying to reach out to you, but cautiously remaining silent. From the first moment i saw you i instantly felt this peculiar hinge of tethering between the two of us. You caught my eye from across the room and then i experienced what most great writers reminisce about. The awakening of my inner monologue screaming towards you while the rest of the faces in the room in an instant become lifeless. You not only lit a spark inside my heart, you carefully opened it with your delicate hands and with a broom named love you swept away the dirt and despair that was weighing me down. You took a silk ribbon with your name stitched on the side of it and closed my still beating, once cold heart and created a home for you. I keep pieces of you in there hoping one day while on your voyage of life you will take a map out of your pocket and follow the steps back to me. With my heart being a large red X upon other small x's that could never compare to depth of the timeless ecstasy we once shared. My love, such a commonly used term. I never was one who fully grasped the four letter word before loosely using it with many, but you have taught me the true meaning to this four letter word and gave it life. Hopefully by the time i come back this to this site i will share our train ride of companionship together. Until then,

J

you are gifted my love.

you have the power to wash away the withered and regrow plants in the warmth of the sun. there is something with the warmth you radiate. the way you can make even the lost souls blossom in hope. the way you leave a tray of gold wherever you go. a ray of magic, blessing whoever may be lucky enough to meet your path, even just for a moment. your smile alone can reach the glorious moon, even on a cloudy night.

my heart is solemnly yours, even through eternity's mist.

it's crazy to have the closest best friend youve ever had and the next day be complete strangers. you pass each other and you cant even look them in the eyes because you cant let go of the hurt.

it's back to the day before you met them. now there is a person out there that is still carrying all your stories. but you are complete strangers.

I want to spend my life with you.

Because you know me better than anyone.

Because you're human in the most beautiful way.

Because you know my boundaries, and you respect them.

Because you're kind, and pretty, and smart.

I thought I just wanted to be really good friends.

But I fell in love.