i deserve a love that is so pure. that sweeps me off my feet. a love that is sleepy, patient & kind.

i've had to pick up the pieces of myself that u broke. and in those pieces i saw my reflection staring back at me. i saw her and i thought, "god, she deserves so much better than this".

so heres my letter universe. officially telling u that i deserve better and i will accept better things.

Uggg.. I'm so down bad that I keep reading these messages and imagining that they're about me from you- but I showed you this website once and you said it was weird and cringe... little do you know I'm here writing these about you💕

When you realize no one cares about you is when you just..stop. No one loves you, no one cares, no one wants you, no one wants you around. When no one just loves you is tragic. To know that not a single person would ever notice your absence or can accept you aren't coming back that's when you know it's over. From the people I begged to love me to having no one on my side. Only way to feel these feelings out is being numb. I've been numb my whole life. I'll get what I deserve but holy fuck I thought stars made up your eyes, the sun radiated from your soul, a heart as magnetic as the moon and tides it arose in my eyes, galaxies and constellations scattered over your body. You'll never know that. No one ever does.

8 months.

I have liked you for 8 months. I have been in love with you for 5. And it's not getting easier. I thought I was used to liking someone from the sidelines, I was fine with the others so why is it so hard to love you from here?

I know it's not your fault. It's not mine either. It's not like I don't want to tell you, it's just that I can't. Not now. Not yet. I have to wait. 5 more months and then all hell breaks lose, if I get enough courage to tell you.

You are amazing. I know you don't see yourself like that which hurts me more than it should. I want you to see yourself how I do. You are beautiful, generous, smart, funny, and responsible. And although you choose not stand out and you prefer to keep quiet and unnoticed, I think everyone should see how amazing you actually are but I'm also afraid that when they do, they'll fall in love with you too and I'd have no chance at all.

Kolt, I think about you all the time. It's getting embarrassing the amount of times I think about you throughout a day. You are the first thought in my head when I wake up and the last before I fall asleep. I think about holding your hand, I think about hugging you when I feel tired or sad or helpless, I think about how it would be like when you say that you like me too, and I think about spending the rest of my life with you. It scares me how much I like you, it scares me that my feelings for you will overwhelm you. I know that the idea of love is very different from actually creating a relationship, I'm not delusional. I know it's not going to be easy because it never is. It takes hard work for a relationship to prosper and bloom and to last for eternity. I am willing to take that risk. I'm willing to work it out with you.

I'm not perfect and you aren't either, you have your flaws and I have mine, too. It's okay, I can take it. If it means being able to love you the way you deserve to be loved and taken care of. I have too much love to give and I want to give it all to you... if you would let me. It's crazy how much painful it is to be so close to you but not be able to do anything. Only to look into your eyes and hold the stare longer than I should, smile at you a little too much, laugh at your jokes when they really aren't that funny, give you compliments that wouldn't make you feel uncomfortable, help you with anything and everything that you need the best way I could, and try my best to see you because you see me too.

I know you do, you try to hide it but I know you are aware of me as I am aware of you. In your little subtle ways, I see that you care about me, too. So although I am still unsure about whether or not you can reciprocate, and if in the future, you wouldn't be able to, at least I know that some time right now, there is a time when you cared about me, too.

I love you.

You are the epitome of everything I have ever wanted in another human being. You are gorgeous inside and out, and I'd move the heavens and earth just to be with you for a day.

She's not mine yet, but I love her to death

I still like you after all these years. what do I do when I feel this much and I don't even see you anymore?

we are mirrors of each other.

growing up not knowing stability, craving calm but only ever getting chaos.

we ended up polar opposites, like night and day. the sun and the moon. i am a reservoir of love and you are a crater.

i can see the walls you have tried so hard to build are coming down. i see you wanting to get closer, the shy smiles, the coy gaze, the curiosity twinkling in your eyes when its just you and me alone.

let me under your skin. let me leave you breathless, begging for more. allow me to take you up to cloud 9 and we'll never come down.

let me in, i know we're both scared of being like our parents and getting trapped in the cycle of toxic love.

but... just let me in. let me prove you wrong, there is more to love than bruises and pain.

it doesn’t feel right to have so much build up just for us to exit each other’s lives so easily

I can't seem to release the thought of you

I worry about you constantly but you're not in my life

I try to focus on myself and my goals

But I'm romantically in love with you and it has me broken. If I could just sit with you. Look at you. Be in the same space as you.💔