here's a future to think about.
we own an apartment somewhere. we paint the walls pink and yellow and hang flowers across the mantle of the fireplace, building windowbeds of daisies and succulents. little radios play music-box tunes every evening after work. bean bags are scattered everywhere and i write sitting in one of them every single night. we own a little dog named ricky and a pensive kitten named estebon. you call them rick and bonnie. the apartment always smells of vanilla and the mist of the dew across our flowers. we call my mom every night to check up. i live with my best friend. i'm still in love.
maybe. if you're up for it.
you know i am
You weren't supposed to happen. This wasn't my plan.
But now... now I want to marry you.
sometimes i wish fate telepathically blasted 🤡 circus 🤡 music 🤡 on me every time i caught myself falling for another unrequited love.
For the past years I've been reading here, I could only relate to the ones who are in some sort of unrequited love or the ones who write about having butterflies when they're chasing someone they think they are in love with.
This is the first time I'm reading here truly, truly heartbroken. And every letter I can relate to. Every letter hits me in a different way. Every letter makes sense.
sometimes the person who truly adores you would give off the kind of gaze you don't even notice... most of the time.
I can feel you thinking about my lips. My collarbone. Whispering into my neck.
I can feel you from way over here. We’re strangers and yet our spirits know.
Two winters of knowing your name.
Three more springs of aching hesitation, should a look shatter this petite delicate anticipation, so afraid.
The poetry of code I’ve created for you I have forgotten since long, but I still am right behind you, feeling just the same.
Maybe not the same; I thought I liked you because you wore glasses but god, you look pretty without them too. Especially when you are looking at me.
So if it took three years for us to finally, finally become friends, let it be. I’ll take three more and then a dozen threes more if you would once more carry my name in your mouth like you did today.
So excited to see you tomorrow. Then the day after. Until the inevitable but unforeseeable future when we must part, love, let me bask in the sunshine glistening brilliant fresh-rain glory that is you. Allow me the honor of standing behind you forever waiting, as you step closer then flutter away like the tides under moonlight, just as it was meant to be, so that when you happen to glance back you’d see me smile shyly, tiptoeing at the hem of your shadows.
Maybe, maybe I held love under my rib-cage all along.
I like this theory:
"Humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves." -Plato
I know we wouldn't even be good together but I'm still stuck on you and that is really fudging annoying