I spent hours here, combing through thousands of letters, feeling my heart skip with each one, finding solace in knowing I wasn't the only hopelessly romantic fifteen year old girl. I wrote letter after letter, poured my heart and soul into my words. My feelings for Matthew, Michael and then Lachlan, immortalised forever on this very website.

Seven years on, and oh so much has changed. High school is long over, soon university will be too. Boys have come, boys have gone. My heart has been broken, my heart has mended. But finding this website again, it was like coming home. I think I've passed the stage of life where I spend all my time thinking of that special someone, analysing our conversations, counting how many times he looks me in the eyes, googling "how to tell if a boy likes me." But love is still love, at this age or at another. This website gave me immense support, it offered me release, and a means of expression of just how gorgeous Lachlan's hair was ;) I'm glad it is doing the same for the younger generation, for a new generation of hopeless romantics. 

So thank you, for the endless solace you provided me, and the words of advice. If I can say one thing, as a parting comment, it will be this: love with all your heart, love fearlessly, take risks, spread your wings, fly. And don't let love pass you by.

When I was eighteen I met a girl two thousand miles away from home. From the very first moment I looked into her eyes I knew I'd never know anyone else like her. That night I laid awake and prayed to all the powers of the universe that someday she would be mine.

Well, the universe took its time. I spent the next three years trying to forget the way the light shined in her eyes and the way her skin felt like comfort. But I never failed to remember her twinkling laugh and biting wit.

Finally the powers that be got around to me, and here we are. I'm about to marry the most incredibly smart, caring, passionate woman I've ever known. I guess the only advice I have for you all is that the right one is always worth the wait.

Take some time to work on you and I'll take time to work on me. Maybe one day we'll have finally gathered up all the pieces and these two broken people can fit together to create a perfect love.

hey dad,

it's me. i’m not entirely sure how to write this letter because now that you’re gone i can’t sit with you and talk to you about what’s going on.

first off – i just wanted to say that your death was a big surprise to me. i didn’t think that i'd ever get news that soon, about something that big. your sister contacted me and told me the news. although we weren’t close, it still hit close to home. losing a parent is one of the hardest things that anybody has to go through; and i’m still unsure of how to cope with it.

i’ve started going to counseling sessions here at the college. i’ve only been to one so far, so i’m not sure if it’s helping or not. i talked the entire time during my first session, and my counselor told me that i’m very strong and that she’s surprised that after everything that has happened to me, that i’m still alive today.

it’s an odd feeling, you know? being told that you’re strong when you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom. there have been so many times that i’ve wanted to throw in the towel; and give up. but i kept pushing through. and even today, i have really difficult times.

i’m writing this letter for a sense of closure. i know you and mom had some hard times, and some very bad times as well. i’m not saying that what you did was justified – because it was not, in the slightest. but i do forgive you for what you’ve done. i know that she hasn’t, and probably never will be able to forgive you; and i don’t blame her. i forgive you, though.

i forgive you for what you did and said to me, as well. healing is a messy process – it’s painful, and sometimes you just want to give up and say “fuck it, it’s easier to hurt than to recover.” but thinking that way won’t solve anything.

now that you’re gone, things are difficult. i’ll never have any answers. i’ll never know how you really felt. i wish i would’ve known that you were sick. i would’ve came to see you. i’m sorry for the way i behaved the last time i saw you. i was just scared and all i wanted was for mom and i to be safe.

i love you. and although i'll never be able to tell you this; realize that you are still loved despite your mistakes. our relationship was a rocky one, but despite everything that happened; you are still my father. i hope you're okay right now and in a better place. rest easy, dad.

You are a good thing to thank God for

A former love of mine came back. This was supposed to be the one that got away, and they came back. God, I can't believe it.

We made love the other night and I've been thinking about it ever since.

When things are meant to be, everything will fall into place despite all the obstacles.

This is what happiness feels like. I'm happy for the first time in 6 months.

Your face is going on a billboard.

I don't think you know yet. My boss is still working on the design for it. I just happened to see it on her computer monitor today while she was working. But I mean, really? It's already hard enough to not stare at you. Now you're going to be larger than life, looming over me.

Your dumb, gorgeous face plastered on a billboard is going to make me get into a car accident.

You're going to be the death of me.

I'm feeling something strange. I look at you and see a bright light, but I don't want to look away. You've taken something of mine, but I don't seem to mind. I want to lay with you on your bed, one earbud for each of us as we listen to your favorite songs for hours. I want you tell me why you like the songs, and explain your playlists and what they mean. I want to touch your hair, I want to see the parts of you you hate most just so I can kiss them and tell you how they are beautiful. I want to be the one person who you don't mind touching or hugging you. I want to be the one you send things you find funny, songs you like, and the one you ask for advice. I want to hold your hand. I want to love you and I want you to love me.

But that's too much to ask, and I know it,

Because I want too much-

And you don't know what you want.

I don't love you. Not yet. It's a slow warmness building inside. You're not beautiful and neither am I, but I love how you make can me smile when I feel like death. I'm scared of what you'll think. Maybe I'll never tell you and this will embarrass me in a year or so.

But then again, maybe in a year or so I'll come back here and show you where it started.

When ever I am going through something difficult, I always wish you were by my side so I wouldn't have to face things alone.