Today is a Tuesday. The same day you left. I'm at home eating spaghetti, your favorite. You promised you'd teach me how to make one exactly like your mother's, but I ended up learning it without you.
I always thought you and I would make it until the end of the line.
But I'm better now. It's been 4 years. Nothing's the same and I don't expect it to be. There's this guy who says he loves me but I can't make myself love him back. Not yet.
But I want to...
I'll be visiting your grave tomorrow. The flowers I left last week have probably wilted. Your sister asked me to accompany her to replace them. At the same time, I have something very important to ask you.
Will you let me love again?
something i've learned is that sometimes you need to confess your feelings to somebody. so that's what i'm going to do, even though it's going to be extremely stressful.
wish me luck, everybody.
You see me walking down the street, holding my boyfriend's hand. You see me kiss him on the cheek while waiting in line for coffee. You see my goofy post about my boyfriend's silly faces. You define me. Straight.
I feel I'm harboring some secret, so I confide in you. My friends, my family, many are confused.
"But you're straight."
"But you're confused."
They don't understand.
Just because I've found my soulmate, doesn't mean I've "chosen a side" or "decided". I know what I am. Who I have chosen to love doesn't make me any less bisexual.
I was in the back, and I heard Josh say "my name'' is so pretty. She'd be hot if she just tried a little."
And then you immediately responded "are you kidding?!? The fact that she's pretty without caring about being pretty is what draws me in...like she's smart, and funny, and she knows that being attractive isn't going to get her where she needs and I respect the shit out of that.."
And I know it was just bro-talk, and that you have a girlfriend, but I've been replaying this in my head for 6 hours and I don't know that anything has ever made me feel so good.
i'm a girl and i texted him first, despite the internet and my friends insistent pleas.
it was the best decision I've made in a while.
girls, follow your intuition. don't let google tell you how to woo a guy, because to be honest, it doesn't know s***, and has probably shooed away more love potential than your awkwardness alone.
he appreciates confidence.
You and your stupid leaf are so damn cute.
Seriously, why cant you be a normal person and admire the cherry blossoms instead? You just had to find a totally inconspicuous thing and find it interesting enough to pick up off the damn muddy ground. And for what other purpose than to look at it closely and admire the freaking pattern.
I hate you and your weirdness so damn much.
-writer just so done with artist
In the year and a half that we've been friends, I've never had romantic feelings for you. When we talked about it, I came to learn that the same was true for you. We've always been close, and I've always liked our friendship. It's easy and fun, we laugh a lot, we tell jokes and mess around. I've always felt like you're someone who just gets me.
And I don't know what happened, but one day I started to feel nervous around you. I kept wondering if I looked okay, if my makeup was good, things like that. Suddenly when you put your arm around me, it made me feel something I couldn't explain. Suddenly your gaze lingered on me just a little too long. Suddenly your smile made me blush, and I couldn't stop thinking about you.
The teasing turned to flirting. You held me closer. We both noticed it, but neither of us brought it up. Then you asked me on that date, and I was so nervous...I made sure I picked out the right clothes and looked over my reflection with insecurity. But when I got there...all my fears vanished.
Because it's you. It's still you, the same person who teases me and laughs at my jokes and takes the hardest path just to see me. And you've always understood me and my ridiculous sense of humor, and you don't judge me for the weirdo that I am. I felt like the rest of the room stopped existing. It was just you and me, and we laughed and talked like always and I didn't feel worried at all. When I put my head against your chest and you held me, it felt normal, like it was always meant to happen.
You are the only person I've ever felt comfortable with on a first date. I didn't have to act or pretend because you already know me and you've always cared about me for who I am.
And when the night ended and you kissed me for the first time...well, there aren't words for what I felt. It could have been the thousandth time.
How have I never realized how much we belong together? Lucky to have you and call you my boyfriend. I can't wait to kiss you again.
I'll never forget the way you sounded when you were on the phone with your mother and I heard you say, "Mom...I met a girl."