Hey.. sometimes I miss you. I wish I could speak with you.

I wish I was your right person

Someday I'll look back at this and it won't hurt.

I'll be loved, I'll go on dates, I'll be laughing on the phone, kissing, holding hands, going to the movies, reading next to someone, cuddling, going on trips, I'll bake them cookies and make them tea on rainy days.

One day someone will give me all I deserve without me having to beg and they won't laugh at how I feel.

Making someone happy sometimes means

Just showing up

You're not in the past for me, you're still achingly present

here’s to manifesting getting kissed this year because i deserve it

We like to think about if we can find people who feel this way. 

Has anyone ever? Has anyone ever loved like this?

This meat and bones and softness wrapped together under blankets and more pillows than can fit on a bed.

We are cataclysmic. Holy and moving across lifetimes and state lines sometimes I don’t even know if this is something universally bound or otherworldly. 

Unseen. 

Too delightful.

“Holy f,” we say, astonished at how the world folds in on itself and all that is left is us

and pillows

and want.

I'd like to write you a happy letter since I've been throwing shade so much lately. Also because I've had a couple shots of tequila and am in a good mood.

You're important to me and I'm sure you see right through my facade. I don't mind. As long as it doesn't cause problems or make you uncomfy. I hope your health is treating you well these days. It was so nice seeing you, even if I only glanced at you for less than a second.

I want to tell you so many good things about you but it's not my place. I want to buy you gifts and send you candy anonymously but that's crazy and I can't. I want to leave you love letters in your desk or other places you might find them but I can't do that either. I want to send you articles and songs and mail you books I think you might like or find interesting but that's just not within the realm of acceptable behavior. I can't do anything I want to do so I just pray for you. I pray that if you're dealing with any challenges right now, you find relief. I pray you slay whatever goals you've set for yourself this year. I pray you find the motivation to keep going and you can maintain the same energy near the end of a project as you had at the beginning. I pray you get the recognition you deserve- be that from your boss or someone you've helped or even someone you've just passively influenced. You're so smart and kind and loyal and...You're just a good person that deserves all good things. I am praying for you, always.

Don't be fooled by her words or her actions.

No one loved you more than she did.

She showed up. Didn't she?

Even when it seemed like no one cared. She showed up. She loved you when no one liked you at all. She's got good taste except she falls for boys who don't love themselves very much. She loves you for reals. She wasn't even afraid to look stupid over loving you.

I used to daydream about kissing him and I finally got the chance and it was… fine… so I did it again and then once more, just to make sure, and I’ve come to the conclusion that sometimes daydreams are better left in the clouds.