I love you so much more than you know. I don’t know how it was for you - maybe we can talk about it one day, but it was love at first sight for me. Those feelings I had when I first met you haven’t changed a bit, even after everything we’ve been through. It’s difficult to describe, but you’re just perfect in every way to me - not only are you the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, but your kindness and the way we get on just makes me love you more and more as time goes on. I really hope we get to be together again soon. I love you.

I was obsessed with someone in high school. I really was. I was convinced I loved him, and, you know, maybe I did. I was convinced he loved me back, and, you know, maybe he did. I heard rumors. Maybe there was a moment. Who knows… but now, who cares?

I was obsessed with my best guy friend in high school. I clung to his very word like a promise without fully realizing that if he wanted to be with me, he would’ve asked. I balanced my self worth on the question of whether or not this boy loved me. Clung to stolen glances around a campfire or that one time our friends forced us to kiss. I beat myself up because I didn’t think I was good enough. I thought that he was the only guy for me and I was going to miss my shot at love if it didn’t happen.

Then, I left. I went to college. I grew up. I wouldn’t say my self image got much better but I learned who I was going to be for the rest of my life. I wish I could say it was a decision to get over him, but it wasn’t. I realized my life was better without him slowly.

I downloaded dating apps realizing there was better out there. I didn’t immediately have great experiences, but I learned how to talk to men and realized I was not as unattractive as he made me feel.

I’m engaged to the absolute love of my life now. I truly thought I was in love with my best friend back then. That’s a joke. It took my guy less than a few months to fall for me. Hell, later we both admitted we may have fell in love the fourth time we hung out (he was my boyfriend less than a month after ”talking” too). He’s seen me through ever flaw, every ugly day, everything. He never hesitates to make me happy. Today he bought me flowers out of the blue while I waited in the car with our two year old dog, and this is a regular thing. He found the perfect engagement ring with the help of my little sister and proposed at night under the stars. I never doubt his love because he never lets me.

I wish I could tell the girl that wrote as “prebrokenheart” that her heart didn’t know what was coming. That she didn’t need to beg for someone to love her. That she might not see it now but there was a reason she had never had a “boyfriend” and that was because her first relationship was meant to be her one and only. I know for a fact she would not have listened, but it would’ve been nice to hear back then.

I’m in love with the only man I was supposed to be with. My favorite letter I wrote back then wasn’t about the guy I was obsessed with in high school but about the fact that I know I would find love one day.

And I did.

-once prebrokenheart, now foreverlovedheart

I still remember the exact moment I knew it was too late for me.

I'm in love with you. I try not to be but I am. You're the first person I think of in the morning and the last person I think of at night. When I'm lonely, I wish for you. When I'm happy, I want to laugh/play with you. When I'm hurt/scared/angry - I want to be comforted by you. When I'm excited - you're the person I want to tell.

I don't know how long I've been this way but I'm already yours

Everytime my phone rings with an unknown number, I hope it's you on the other end.

nope, just marketers...

You're hypnotizing. merely by existing, you redefine my ideas of beauty. you are not just physical perfection, you are seduction; you are the primordial, essential, eternal avatar of female sensuality.

Off tomorrow. Toying with the idea of popping in just to see you.

You are all I think and feel now. I am a moth to your flame.

Yea this is way beyond crush at this point.

Sorry. I am deeply in love with you now. You have my heart and soul and don’t even know it.

I wish I could read your mind….and heart. Of course the obvious solution would be to communicate directly… but that is where the problems start. You see I have this apparent birth defect- I was born with no guts.

Last night, I wrote everything out. Every detail, every perceived sign, every feeling.

I don’t love you. I have limerence. I am not obsessed with you, I am having obsessive thoughts. It is 100% an addiction and addictions can be broken. I’ve reduced you to fragments of a person and come up with this big idea that you are everything I need.

And that’s a lie.

I have everything I need. You are a distraction and while you’re certainly not my only distraction, you are my favorite. But you’re also the most time consuming and soul leeching of them all.

I don’t think I’m going to instantly stop thinking of you but I do know that I am going to be proactive in minimizing these thoughts. I’m no longer going to allow myself to succumb to them. I’m going to put more effort into myself and the relationships around me. Healthy relationships based on reality and the unconditional love of those who have seen me at my best, worst, and everything in between.

I wish I could come home to you every day.