"With the time i waste on the life i never had
I could've turned myself into a better man"
?
I’ve never before you seen a woman being at the same time so bright, so resourceful, so mature and then not just “for her age”, so cultivated, so humble, so strong, so clear-eyed about everything, so beautiful a person - and so sizzlingly, scorchingly hot.
You’re soooo hot. My screen might as well have been on fire. And then of course there’s everything else - you’re brighter than bright, you’re knowledgeable, you’re funny, you’re resourceful. You’re a woman in full and just a generally amazing person. Which compounds your hotness. Now if only I could unlike you.
You have said my name, to me, only a handful of times.
I turn each one over in my head and savor the sound of it.
you want me to write about you? fine. i will.
i avoid my feelings for you like animals to wildfire, sprinting somewhere anywhere to get away from the flames licking my heels, tenacious,
begging to be seen.
loving you is cracking eggs and the tops of cr�me br�l�e. its mining for geodes and working for weeks to burst them from their hard bed. you nourish and pull awe from my body once we break open and that delight is too much for either of us to bear.
you kill me. i cant keep my mind off you and you disguise yourself as narratives and haunt my dreams, making it so that every time my eyes open on a new day all that floods down is you you you you.
im obsessed with you and im so obsessed that i think not in a million years could you ever understand that depth. and maybe thats true, maybe you wont.
but i never entertain the idea that you might. and you might feel the same.
who can say if its love or not. maybe that gem will never reveal itself. but then again ....
our relationship is full of maybes.
i think i want a yes.
i was staring at your story for ages
you're the embodiment of october. a personified autumn. you blend so well with the reds and oranges of the season and your hair reminds me of falling leaves.
you're so beautiful. you remind me of an aged, snug library with dusty books of fairy tales and romances that have been owned by a multitude of people like me, hopelessly in love with someone like you.
i'm enduring these feelings because i don't wanna risk losing you as a friend. i realize that we may always stay friends but i don't wanna live life being afraid for wanting to be with someone who i truly like maybe i just need to learn how to take risks but i'm scared.
Before I graduate, I want to atleast tell you that you're beautiful and i like your jokes, I like your smile, your laughs, I like all of your actions. even the way you look anxious when I stare at you for too long while we're having small conversations, I like looking at your eye-lashes while you speak, your cheeks getting all red when it's cold or when it's hot, i like liking you. And I'll tell you all that at school, one day.
Don't hand anyone the key to you heart until they've shown you they can not only keep it save, but give it back when it's no longer deserved.