People who obsessed over the same person for years. I've been there. And the thing I learned is that it's not about them, your happiness and your future does not depend on them, only depends on you. There's no such thing as the one, or at least not in the way the movies and books tell you. If you're longing for them for years and they don't see you like that, you're not the one for them, therefore they're not the one for you. The one is the person with whom you mutually choose to give all of yourself to the other. The one who sees you for who you are and chooses to love all of it. It's your choice, always. And if you're convinced that the person who doesn't love you back is the one for you, and you think you're destined to be waiting for them forever, it's not destiny, it's the choice you made. It's not some torture you must go through, it's not a noble cause, it's only your choice to be miserable, to be heartbroken, to never heal. You may think this is what you deserve, but you're wrong. You can always choose otherwise. Takes time, and effort, but you can do it, no matter how impossible it may seem this moment. It's the work to let others in that's the hardest, but when you do it you will be surprised how much love you can give to others. I'm not saying you'll forget about them completely, the ones we loved will always have a small hold on our hearts, but it will transform into a love that's not obsessive, a love that is pure and accepting and peaceful. With time you will become open for others, you can and will fall in love again when you let yourself. Please let yourself.

14 comments add comment

  • anonymous lover
5 months ago

Wow so beautiful!!! I felt like this was directed just to me- and I needed to hear it.you are so right! Thank you for writing this!

  • anonymous lover
5 months ago

This needs to be in the FAQ for this site. Don't let something like this take YEARS. Do whatever you have to to close this out and move forward, with or without them. Time is short. There's so much life has to offer.

  • anonymous lover
5 months ago

Easy said than done

  • anonymous lover
5 months ago

Nothing of real value comes easy.

  • anonymous lover
5 months ago

Yeah I’ve liked him for years and he doesn’t feel the same. It’s hard to just forget him.

  • pinkfluffyclouds
one month ago

wow it’s the work to let others in that’s the hardest

  • anonymous lover
one month ago

this is right place right time for me. love is meant to be felt and it is meant to feel free

  • anonymous lover
one month ago

Better to have someone to think about than having no-one

  • ^
one month ago

Not for everyone.

  • ^
one month ago

Sure. Just personally find it hard to fill the hole left by a living breating person with anything else. It’ll just be a gaping hole.

  • Cheeb
one month ago

Thank you so much, I needed this.

  • lovebud
one month ago

Letting go of control and truly waiting without agenda led me to my husband. It took a decade of pining after the wrong people to finally say "Alright, fine. I will wait." And three months later this awkward, sweet coworker of mine said he had feelings for me and wanted to take me out on a date. And the rest is history.

  • Anonymous
28 days ago

Thanks a lot man needed this fr 🙏🏾

  • Blue
11 days ago

I hope so thanks. I do deserve better.

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