-to johhan
I dont even know where to start but all i can say is that i wish you know i like you. I always had. The moment i saw your silly smile and your love for photography i felt something in my heart. If you ever do read this. Just know that you have a special place in my heart. But i dont think we were meant to be. Maybe in another life?
If you ever read this Max L. I hope you'll know that i had always cared about you. Even with your old stupid ideas and that silly smile i used to adore...i miss the old u. I fucking hate the new person you are. I will never forgive you for what you have done and all the shit you have said behind my back.
I love you, Emily. You're my bestest friend. You're amazing; I can't even decide what I feel.
But, I'm scared you wouldn't love me back. It hurts knowing that is probably the answer.
I know you'd never look at me the same.
You told me you loved me then you ghosted me. I don’t understand why I can’t be enough for you. You stick out to me like Blood in the snow. Like A Red moon in a sky full of stars. Your eyes are as gorgeous as the northern lights. Every time I look into them I get lost, even if it’s just pictures of them. You’re as perfect as a frank ocean or Mac Demarco song. Yet I’ve learned to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself for now on.
When I used to think about you I’d get butterflies and fireworks in my stomach, my heart would flutter, my eyes would dilute, and I’d smile ear to ear. But now..now when I think about you my heart drops, my smile disappears and a frown replaces it. My eyes rain and my mind clouds. I hate that I love you, but I also can’t help it. I hate that I can’t have you, And i hate that I feel this way about you, It’s as if I wish I never met you.
You remind me of;
“Heart to heart” ~ (M.D)
( 0:00-0:20) ~ Ivy (F.O)
(0:50-1:00) ~ Pink Matter (F.O)
“White Ferrari” ~ (F.O)
“I Wait for you”~ (A.G)
“Jealous” (EyeDress)
Anyways I know you’ll never see this.. but I Wish you well.
Love, The Girl With The Pretty Brown Eyes.
seesaw playing on my feed is INSANE.
sometimes i forget that i went to watch the movie with my cousin. but Suga is an incredible soloist.
i think as i delve deeper into their artistry and their work and the intention behind it, i realize why my cousin and sister love their music so much. too bad my FAVORITE ONE. was being a stoopid boi. lol.
but no, it’s genuinely so soulful. map of the soul duh.
i wrote for an application today. my first time writing something like that in a while. four pages long aha.
i read and reread. and it was incredibly vulnerable. i forget how much personal statements are so…personal. and it was nice. to see how i’ve grown in my perspective of failure. but also in recognizing my weaknesses…as motivation to build up strength.
it’s why my little lanyard for the keys for my car is a purple little whale. for 00:00. “and you‘re gonna be happy.” for my sister. aha she reminds me to keep coming back home. maybe that’s why i made that reference into something i take everywhere with me.
the very first song i couldn’t feel anything to. now it brings me to tears everytime. tho mikrokosmos is special because it reminds me of stars in the sky. it feels hopeful.
anyways.
HA! issok i’m in my letting go era so it’s nice to rewrite the people please oldest sister narrative. hm hm hmmmm, when did i forget to use my voice and speak up for what i believe in?
- pinkfluffyclouds
Archie
What the fuck did I do. I love you but you won't talk to me. You just upped and left my house without a goodbye or a love you or anything. You went out what the your work friends so I did mine. You didn't communicate with me at all even tho you said you would so how TF was I to know you were coming back early. I'm sorry you was let in by my parents and not me. But I came straight back to you. Was it really necessary for you to then just up and leave. I got like 15 mins with you. And now you're off grid. You won't talk to your mum about it. You lied to my parents and was shit talking me. Like what is your problem. If this tonight is who you are and it turns out youre not the man I've spent the past six months loving then tell me so I can figure out if I deserve that or not. I love you. And I don't want to lose you. I am not me without you. The best parts of me are because of us. And I will move heaven and earth to protect that.
Abbie
Cubby, I could never hate you no matter what you think of yourself. I still dream of you every night. I miss when we were cowgirls together, please come back.