I'm somewhat of a spiritual person. I believe in positivity, and that the energy that you put into the universe is the energy that will inevitably come back to you. And I like to think that, in some small way, the universe is looking after me. Guardian angels, for lack of a better term. Sometimes I ask them for signs when I'm feeling really worried or lost, and I often receive them in the form of repetitive, familiar numbers or a long awaited phone call right when I really needed it. Maybe these things are coincidences. You certainly don't have to believe them. But I asked for a sign about him, and suddenly his name is coming up everywhere. I look up that interesting actor in the show I just watched, and he has his first name, or the credits roll in the movie theater and the director is called the same thing, I play my favorite Pandora station on my work computer and a particularly sweet song catches my attention and the artist has his name, or someone calls to make a reservation at the hotel where I work and they give me his name. I'm laying in bed sobbing and asking for someone to make me feel better but not wanting to tell anyone that something is wrong, and he texts me to say that he just had the most fantastic bagel. Again, maybe a coincidence, and all the circumstances are screwed up and people's opinions are negative or iffy and nothing is certain and sometimes it hurts. But every time the hurt and the circumstances and what my friends say makes me want to let it go, my everything tells me to hold on as tight as I possibly can, to dig my nails in and let my knuckles turn white, and I can't help but feel like that means something.
I wonder what 2019 will hold for us. I’m hoping for happiness, and to be honest, for love too...
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I still really like you
I wish you liked me too
She finds herself sleepwalking, where my hands cover her eyes leading her to a place that’s led by my voice, calling her by her name, telling her to trust in the path of my footsteps.
She walks with her eyes closed, hijacked by this spell of intense desire my hands have casted upon her. She walks through the graveyard, She walks through the night, She walks through the dark alley, only to never see me or touch me.
And yet... my voice still lingers in her mind, telling her to come here. She’s never felt this strong urge.
She never wanted to be with someone this bad. Its when every fiber in her being wants to kiss me, touch me, bite me, submit to me, be held by me, and love me.
And all she gets is just enough to leave her wanting more and more.
Chem M.D